A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 22 years professional bargirl in thailand, I had boyfriend for 5 month overseas, I love he very much. But he find out of my work and now he finish me and say he want no more to know me. He a very nice man with good heart, not like the no good men I business with. I hate my work but do for my family. I know what I did was wrong, I should not have secret him like this but I love him and I know he won't like about it. We was plan to meet this year and I was stop my job and we be happy but he know soon about my work before that. What can I do he won't talk with me? I very sad. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): Female reader, long distance can work with all loyalty and faith and trust, many friend here have overseas bf and have happy life. My job I have sex for money with men in club, its my job, my bf discover this and he leave me and say he not accept I cheat for 5 month in my work. I know he love me he cry on call to me afterwards he broken heart :( I know I was wrong he should know my job but I scared I lose him if he know so I keep secret. I know he genuine if you read other thing I already say before, he kind and loyal and have good heart, he do me no wrong. I think he do right thing for him but I love him so much and want chance I can prove him I will not hurt him ever.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): If I am understanding this correctly, you have never met each other in person?
I doubt what you are doing for a living is really what's going on here.... He has probably used that as an excuse to get out of what really isn't there in the first place.
I am sure you can find someone that lives in your area that is a real person that you can meet in real life. Try that and I bet you will have much better success at having a real relationship where you can look, touch and love someone. I'm sorry you got caught up in a fantasy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): Makayla, my work I do sexual thing with men and sometime girl for money, not same as prostitute, it have respect more than that. I think both job and lie he not like. My plan was keep this from him and when we meet I quit job and he not know of it, now he know and left. I love him so true that why I never told him. He nice man and have good heart and I not want him think bad of me same other men.CMMP, I not gold digger I never ask him send me anything but love. I not ask money or business from him. I don't care about men client here to me, job, all it i don't care I just care him that why he could not know my work. I say sorry to him and ask forgiveness and I find other job when he arrive here but he say no he hurt too much I lie 5 month of cheating and he has loyal and faithful to me. :(
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (26 February 2013):
It's your job AND the fact that you lied about it. Thai bar girls have a gold digging reputation, but at least if you had been honest he'd have been able to trust you to a small extent. He probably thinks you were just playing him.
There is nothing you can do to save this considering the fact that you've never even met. You have to have something real to hold onto, not someone on the computer who could be anybody.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): Hmmm from the sound of it your job is your MAIN priority, not a relationship. I don't know if there's anything you can do to salvage whatever it was you had with this man, I imagine if he loved(s) you he will be heartbroken. Maybe next time you're considering finding a steady boyfriend, you find another type of work and quit being a working girl first, then find a man who you can be honest with and have no secrets from.
I don't know a lot about thailand either, and I don't associate with that type of business, but I have heard life is difficult in parts and girls have to do whatever they can do to survive. You say you don't like your work, its simply business, that maybe the case and if so, you will be able to separate your job from your personal life, but you cannot expect a man to see things from the same point of view as yourself. It would take a special guy who is very open minded and understanding to be able to accept a woman who cheats on him for a living, I know I couldn't.
I personally think you've doomed your chances with this guy, but all you can do is learn from this and make sure it never happens again with anyone else. Otherwise this will continue to happen again and again.
Sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): sorry to hear this OP, but you can blame yourself.
He is not mad at you because what yo do for living...he stoped to talk to you because you lie to him. i dont know what you said to him about it but was a lie and he found out by himself different thing.
he is hurt and he feel betrayed. give to him time and space. the time will show you.
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A
female
reader, narda1 +, writes (26 February 2013):
I am really sorry :(. What I would do is write a SINCERE apology explaining what you really felt. If he loves you, he will have to understand. If he doesn't understands, I am sure he lost a good girl because NO ONE is able to judge. I am no one to judge either and I am sure you had your reasons. Good luck with everything!
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A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (26 February 2013):
Why does your overseas boyfriend have a problem with your job? Or is the problem that you've lied about your job? Maybe he is jealous of the men you work with, or the men you meet while working. If this is the case move on, because a long distance relationship can't work without trust. If the problem is that you lied, he may understand if you explain that you are trying to provide for your family, and you were worried about what he would think of you. Good luck!
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