A
female
age
30-35,
*ainStorm
writes:This is going to be long... I'm sorry about that!Basically my life completely went down the drain. I lost my job nearly a year ago (fired as I was late often and not showing up couple times despite fact contacting them because they promised me a top manager position in store and turn around to hire a complete newbie that didn't know what she was doing and also never ever showed up and still never promoted me after I took care of that crazy 3 weeks so I got sick of them and hated going there) and just this morning nearly lost my boyfriend of 20 months, the place we live in and our pets. We talked for an hour alone and said we couldn't live without the other so he's going to give me one more chance. Yesterday he told me out of no where that his "friend" was coming over. I HATE this guy, he makes me want to erupt and kick him. I even yelled that I'd rather find out I was cheated on by my bf than him hanging out with that guy. That guy is like.. in his late 20's I think but looks like 40 from the drugs he use. He got a girl that's 4 with a wife that he cheats on (texted my bf laughing how he got a great laid in another city), asks my bf to drive him home when they got drunk at our place because HE was too CHEAP to drive his truck and save some gas. He tells my bf how to 'control' me and I snapped at him for trying to control our lives when his life is obviously screwed up and a whole bunch of other things. My bf didn't hang out with him for few months because this guy is also quite clingy. He called my bf on his cell, when my bf didnt pick up he called the house phone and when he still didn't pick up he DROVE to our place, saw his truck and started BANGING the window and door waking my bf from his nap!! Now anyway, I told my boyfriend I DID NOT WANT that guy over at OUR place anymore. If he wants to hangout with him, then go somewhere else. I can't STAND the sight of this guy. The thought or hearing his name PISS me off. My bf got annoyed at me so I left screaming at him that I was breaking up with him (Obviously I ought to learn to control my temper and not scream stupid things) BUT at least he got the point now and won't invite that guy over and will go out to hang out with him. I DON'T have anywhere else to go (to hangout), I haven't had a job for so long (no luck finding one either and that's adding on stress), no connection to internet/phone as we don't have the $$$ for the bills (bf is starting to work again but pay isn't that well) nor do I even have any friends to chill with. My best friend moved across the country 2 years ago and I ditched the ones I knew from high school as they are full of themselves and full of drama and gossip. I don't have the money to go anywhere either so joining any clubs or anything to make friends and get a hobby doesn't work for me right now. My bf told me he wants his space and I understand. I want my space too but it's difficult! I have nothing to do but stay at home. Been trying to do some exercise as walking but it depends on the weather. I'm also quite shy and it takes a while to open up to people. I do drive but don't have my car at the moment as again, can't afford to pay for gas nor insurance. I feel so trapped and stressed out to the core. What helped in the past was going out in the mountains, a drive and a hike. Nature would relax me from the city stress so the fact I can't even do that makes me want to cry. I just feel like a bottle ready to burst.*I do not have computer connection. I am at my parents for couple hours to try to find new jobs to apply for so I may not be seeing any response for another week or so.*
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best friend, cheap, drugs, drunk, money, shy, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Agony Auntie Smiles  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 The first thing you need to attend to is the welfare of your pets. If you can't look after them you must find new homes for them. Like children you should not have pets until you have security.
In looking after your pets and doing the right thing you should reinstate some self respect. You are obviously intelligent and must start believing in your abilities. I can tell by your letter that you have above average intelligence so you will have above average chances of getting a job. Also, you know why you lost your previous job so you should learn by that mistake.
You are obsessing over your boyfriend's friend. This druggy should not get the better of you. Try to pity him. This will work better than arguing with him and show him up to be the idiot he appears to be much better than arguing. Rise above the situation. This response will be much more attractive than your current one.
Seek advice from Wilma Proops. She brings comedy to the worst situations, laughs and enjoys life and her attractive personality brings its rewards... REALLY
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