A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I moved in with my b/f a couple of years ago,and then recently I lost my job and now I feel very depressed and trapped. My b/f is always criticizing everything I do, always pointing out the negative instead of saying thanks for the many things I do right. It's starting really affect my self esteem, especially now that I'm out of work. I don't even feel like looking for a job. We fight alot because I get so tired of him always nagging me or complaining about something. Because I haven't yet found another job, I don't have the money to support myself and I can't move out until I do. I really have no family and two of my good friends have recently moved to another state. I have no where to go and no one to turn to but I feel like this relationship is eroding my confidence and my self esteem but I'm trapped. I've tried talking to my b/f. He apologizes when I point out my frustrations, but 5 min. later, he's doing it again. I think he's a very angry person and refuses to get help. I don't know how I'm going to survive. I feel like killing myself sometimes.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): You need to leave him. If he can't support you when you're down, you don't need him and he doesn't really love you. Not the way you deserve to be loved.
Consider moving back to where your family lives, or to the state where your friends live. Keep repeating over and over again 'I will find the perfect job at the perfect pay". or some affirmation you are comfortable with. Say it and believe it and it will happen.
And when you find that perfect job, pack your stuff and leave him while he's at work. After you leave, send him a check as soon as you're able to cover the months you stayed with him without paying your part of the rent. You'll find the perfect man who adores you. Don't settle for anyone less.
God Bless You!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): If your boyfriend reckognizes your pain and apologizes, maybe he is stressed to.
You have to stand up for yourself, when he says something, come back and tell him that wasn't nice and then explain your frustration of the situation. Ask for his support and not his critisim. Ask for his help, maybe he can offer some suggestions.
Sometimes when things get tough, we all begin to come unglued. Both of you need to recgnize this if it is present. Relationships should care, trust, support each other. Were not always super man or woman, we have weak points, and hopefully the other is strong in this area that we can fall on for support and help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Please try your best to be strong. I know how you feel because i have also felt this way in the past. My job situation has been dire in the last 6 months. I am in a horrible job right now, with people who dont speak to me and i hate every minute, but it is the money that is keeping me going. Try and have a chat with him and explain in more detail just how you feel and his attitude is just making you feel ill. Do you not have a relative that you could go and spend maybe a few days with just to get your head together. You sound like you are a bit depressed too, which is very understandable, taking into account just what you are going through. Can you not get some training for another career while getting paid? BUT, you cannot go on like this or you self esteem will be completely eroded away and you will start to hate him and yourself. Try and stay positive, there is a better life ahead, but not if you stay like this.
take care
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