A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys!I'm really really confusedd at the moment, my boyfriend and I were together for 18 months, he was my second boyfriend, he was quite experienced with girls, I lost my virginity to him although he wasn't a virgin, we were in love and I thought everything was great in the bedroom.. We split up on 17th October and he's already got a boyfriend! He told me he was confused about his sexuality and has realised now he has no interest in girls...!! It broke my heart to lose him but then to hear I'd turned him gay was even worse! I don't think I'll ever get another boyfriend once people know about him. I really don't know what to do! Is it my fault he's gay? Is he bisexual? Pleasee! What did I do what was so wrong???
View related questions:
lost my virginity, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackroses2989  +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Sweetheart you did nothing wrong. There is NO such thing as "turning someone gay" I believe he was probably warring with himself about his sexuality before he started dating you. This is what sometimes happens when guys figure out thats they are attracted to men. When in denial they stay in a long term relationship with a girl. Realize its not to hurt or spite you or anything of the sort. Most of the time they dont do this conciously either. They do this because they feel safe, and they arent ready for anyone to suspect anything about their sexuality. Other reasons are because they often don't realize that they are gay until they realize they should be satisfied and happy, but arent. Not because of you, but because they are homosexual. If you want a better idea of what your boyfriend went through, and why this happened to you and he, I highly reccomend you pick up the book Rainbow Boys. Its the first book not the sequals and I believe it should say highschool on the cover just under the title, but it may not. Anyways I hope this helps and please realize its not you. You did NOTHING wrong honey. Its better to find out sooner than later. Put it this way, better now then when youre married and have three kids togther.(hypothetically speaking, not assuming you were going to lol) Anyways good luck darling. time will help to heal this hurt. I hope you can still be friends, so long as he doesnt act like a jerk to you. Good luck!!!! 3 3 3 ^_~
A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/ +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Omg get you cherriepie! im sorry but how close minded can you get! Guys CAN BE BI just like us gals can for cryin out loud! Just cos a guy can BE attracted t another guy dont make him gay. My fella is bi, i accept the fact hes been with guys as well as girls. He once said t me sometimes hes more for his gals than his guys and vice versa thats the whole point in been bi your attracted to someone as an individual not their sex! And chick i am sorry this guy broke your heart, but if hes gettin confused about his sexual feelings then surly its beta for him mentally t explore openly and honestly without going behind your bk or suppressing his true feelings? Your only young, ppl will forget all about this in time and you will find yourself another guy one day :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (5 November 2008):
 he probably had loads of girls in the past as he thought that having sex with girls MAKES you strait.
this is all down to timing-your obviously just in that time in your lives where this event occurs. if it wasn't you it most certainly would have been someone else.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (5 November 2008):
he probably had loads of girls in the past as he thought that having sex with girls MAKES you strait.
this is all down to timing-your obviously just in that time in your lives where this event occurs. if it wasn't you it most certainly would have been someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Yes, he is gay hun... most straight guys have no doubts about their sexuallity. And if the question does come up he is bona fide gay. Guys arent made the same way as us girls. We girls can be flexible so being bisexual is okay and even acceptable. With guys, its like being pregnant...if he likes dick then he is gay and there is no in-between.
Don't worry if you think you "made" him gay. You didnt. It was his choice, and maybe it took him trying out a girl like you before he could decide he just doesnt like girls. Its no reflection on you hun..its all on him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Sounds like he's a player. You should be Relieved he's gone. You wouldn't want a serious relationship, get married, and then find out he's attracted to Guys! Now that's devastating. Be thankful it all happened now. You're so young, time is on your side to meet a handsome man with eyes Only for You.
I told someone today, if you want to know if a guy is Really interested in you, leave sex out of relationship. Save it for the one that wants to vow to share his life with you. You are Worth it! :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): I don't think it's possible to turn a man gay. He may have deep rooted bi/gay urges that didn't arise until he was in a relationship with you. But it isn't because of you.
Get on with your life and let him get on with his. Feelings come and go, just like boyfriends.
...............................
A
male
reader, shadopaw +, writes (4 November 2008):
 check it he is not gay he is what we call bicurious (which means only expermenting with the other sex) once he feels that penis go in between the buttocks like a cavity search I guarantee he'll turn straight!
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (4 November 2008):
 hi hun, no its not your fault an no you ddnt turn him gay. i was once in the same situation and i kicked myself about it for a long time but dont make the same mistake i did dont wallow in it its something that he needed to figure out like we all do and you were just their. he prob did love you. its an experience some of us go through all it means is that he wasnt the right guy for you.. cheer up chuck it will get better just focus on you right now be with friends good luck aphexy xxx
...............................
|
