A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi my question is i was engaged to a very special girl for 2 years and we was together for 3 years and recently she told me she was not happy and called it all off.I know she loves me and i very much love her but she has moved out of our home to move back to her parents.I just feel lost as she is everything to me there is a 4 year age gap between us as she as just turned 21 i just dont no what to do so i dont lose her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007): I know what you are going through, it has happened to me, and Jam is right, give her space, etc, when i read what he wrote, it got to me, and everything he said is so true, yes i still do love her and care about her but, she said she needs her space, and needs to do things for herself, who knows, maybe someday we will be together again, i am not sure, but life goes on, and he is right, if you love her set her free, if she comes back to you it was meant to be!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007): HI! I feel for you and am in a very similar situation. Believe me when I say that you can not do anything to make her want to come back. You can only do things to make her not want to come back! Do you get what Im saying?
She wants time and space apart for whatever reason and if you follow her or contact her during this period, you will push her further away. I know that this is hard advice but it comes from painful experience and not just my experience either. Trust me! This time apart without contact will give her the time and space she needs to get her priorities right.
The best thing you can do is carry on with life without her just now. DO anything you can to occupy yourself and look after yourself. DOnt get down or depressed if you can avoid it and just let this happen. You will naturally feel like you want to call her, apologise for something, talk this through, but that is not what she wants or needs and she will only get further from your reach.
Go and do something for yourself. Start a new hobby, do ANYTHING to focus yourself of. FOr me it was a Martial Arts class twice a week, it is SUCH a great help. It gives me something to fucus on and it is changing me as a person for the better. The added confidence and feeling of achievement lifts me and makes me have a more positive outlook on life. Its not often that I can be so confident about advice, but this time, you need to believe me, you will get through this, just dont chase her. Remember this phrase, "IF YOU LOVE HER SET HER FREE". Its very true and if things are meant to be she will be back and you will both be stronger together for it. Use this time apart to your advantage.
Keep me updated.
Jamie
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A
female
reader, livi +, writes (24 March 2007):
 hey,
Tell her what you feel. how else is she to know your suffering? why did you break up? was it just out of the blue, all of a sudden, becoz perhapse she thought you were going off her. You need to let her know you love her with all your heart and she cant throw away 5 yrs, they were the best ever, Also, give her space, there could be something going on in her life that she is worried about but doesnt want anyone to know.
Good luk it all : D
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