A
female
age
41-50,
*sland Vibe
writes:hiya, ok well i've just left high school this summer but about a month before i left i went to my best mates birthday party and met this really cute lad called *tom* whos in my year but i'd never talked to him before, anyway we got on really well and got chattin, we exchanged numbers and got txting. it was about 2 weeks later that i realised i'd really fallen for him. so asked him out, to see if he'd like to be my boyfriend he said yes and i was so happy.anyway a week later he was at a party and he 'got kissed' by a girl. he said that she kissed him but i wasn't sure anyway i said it was ok, and i'd forgiven him as long as it didnt happen again. my best friend *ben* told me to get rid and that i could do alot better, and now i know hes kissed someone else i don't feel the same as i did before.is it cos i feel like i can't trust him or what?i'm like really confused i was like really obsessed with this guy *tom* and hes told me hes mad about me and that the kiss was a big mistake.anyway i need your help please i don't know what to do, should i stay with him and hope i get these feelings back or just get rid?really confused...advice would be much appreciatedx
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female
reader, Island Vibe +, writes (27 July 2009):
Island Vibe is verified as being by the original poster of the question ok i get what you mean, and yes i've not known my bf very long, and i've know ben like forever.but i'm gonna give it a few weeks and see how it goes thanks.
A
female
reader, Island Vibe +, writes (27 July 2009):
Island Vibe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot k c100, you really helped
i know that a kiss isn't a big deal but i feel differently about him and i can't help it, anyway i'll wait a few weeks and see how it goes.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Well think about this, you said that he told you about the kiss and you said it was forgiven. Then you talk to your best friend who says you can do better, and all of a sudden he is not forgive anymore and you cant trust him! So its got nothing to do with your trust issues, because you decided to forget about it. What it has to do with is your friend, you are listening to him rather than listening to yourself.
It sounds like Tom is really sorry for what he did, and he didnt even initiate the kiss so really he hasnt done much wrong. A kiss is meaningless, especially one that is forced upon him! If he had slept with this girl, or started texting her behind your back then yes you would have reason not to trust him.
But do you really want to throw away a chance at a great relationship with a guy you really like, and who really likes you, all because of a silly unwanted kiss? You need to put this into perspective, was what he did (or had forced on him) really that bad? He told you what happened (so he's honest), he apologised (he clearly regrets it because he likes you not her!) and he's mad about you (you are lucky to have found a guy that is mad about you, they dont come along often!). So all those positives compared to one silly little mistake?
If I were you I would forget about it and be happy that I am with a guy I really like! Put it behind you and make sure he knows that if it does happen again then you wont believe it was an "accident". He needs to know that you will forgive him but you are not a doormat, and he has to make sure that it wont happen again.
This is entirely your decision, just have a good think and decide if what he did was really that bad in your eyes and if you can forgive him and trust him again.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Island Vibe +, writes (27 July 2009):
Island Vibe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks samii and thatgothgirl20,
i'm meeting up with him 2morrow so i'll let you know how it goes, i've not seen him for two weeks, i've been on holiday. x
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 The fact that he said it was a mistake means that he did it, not her. I think you should let him go, since he also wasn't honest with you. I think that Ben is interested in you and has his own motives in mind, but yeah, I think that you should let this guy go (the one who kissed the other person.)
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