A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:While hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends. one of his friends, who is usually a nice guy, was drunk and chatting with me about his girl problems. Out of nowhere, he lifts me and slaps my butt in front of everyone. I felt offended of course and and put a stop to it. I understand the friend was really drunk, and as someone that can get a little wild from drinking, I am even more understanding. What bothered me is that my boyfriend was just there and didn't do anything like run to stop it or say anything, even as a gentle defense on my part. I am quite capable of defending myself. But I guess I can't help but lose respect for him because he didn't jump to defend me. If roles were reversed, I would have. I tend to have a more protective personality than him and am my own version of a feminist. I tend to like manly men that initiate and protect. But is he a pushover? What should I do? Should I talk to him about it? If I do, how do I do it without damaging his ego? Or should I just try to get over it? I'm afraid I'm going to resent him for this and/or this loss of respect is going to taint an otherwise good relationship...
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 This type of incident sometimes happened too fast and the thing is when you are ready to take any actions , it is quickly over.
He believed that you could handle the situation and did not require his help.He did not want to create a scene and blow the issue out of proportion.After all , you were among friends and not strangers.
He is not a pushover.He is trying to be cool under that circumstance or his mind was too slow to react to the situation.
You should try to get over from his lack of appropriate response. Sometimes, things just happened and he is not able to control it.
Do not keep any resentment of him . It will be bad for your relationship.
You could discuss that issue with him and plan together what you want him to do if such a case were to happen again.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Yes, I agree with Fierce. You need to have a long discussion with the guy about this. You need to be absolutely direct and detailed about how you feel, or it'll be a thorn in your relationship.
Remember Taylor Swift and Kanye West? When Kanye jumped on the stage and ruined Taylor's moment with his jerkiness, most people didn't realize that Taylor Swift's boyfriend Taylor Lauton was up on stage and did NOTHING to stop Kanye from humiliating her.
It's possible that the action shocked your boyfriend into being motionless while it happened. Eventually Taylor dropped her boyfriend, you know? You need to be clear on what you expect from your boyfriend should something like this ever happen again.
Of course, if he displays that inaction again, you should find someone else who would have been willing to slam that rude drunkard into a wall for so much as laying a finger on you.
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