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I look after my friends baby more than she does, Ive come to love him as my own, I think he would be better living with me untils shes sorted, what do you think ?

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Question - (31 March 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Hey, I'm 16 years old, and in my final year of secondary school. My best friend, Sophia*, gave birth to her son, Charlie, about three months ago, and despite throughout her pregnancy being really positive about juggling school and motherhood, suddenly she seems to neglect him. She was really good with him for the first month or so, but then she wanted to go out to parties, and stop back after school for revision classes etc, so she's called me up and I've had to look after Charlie. Sophia's mother and father split up when she was young, and she lives with her mother who also had her when she was in her teens, and the family are quite poor.

I've had to sacrifice my life for Sophia's and Charlie's. I've grown to love and care for this little boy, like he was my own.

I'm an only child, who lives with my parents, and we are quite well-off financially. I think it would be better for Charlie's sake, for him to come and live with me, until Sophia got her life sorted out, and is able to juggle both of her roles.

What do you think I should do?

View related questions: best friend, split up

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A female reader, miss fit United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2007):

NOOOOOOOOOO!this is a terrible idea because while she will be getting a good education you won't and eventually she will want her baby back again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007):

Ahemm!....let's pause and think a moment. Your friend is taking advantage of you and her parent (?) is allowing it. You are also too young to be taking this responsibility. "Mothering" is a natural instinct for most young women, but you are not in a position, either in maturity or legally to become an adoptive parent to Charlie. Tell your friend she must assume the responsibility...or contact social sevices. And what about Charlie when you are in school? You should finish your schooling. Young girls (children themselves) becoming mothers is an increasing problem. They throw their futures away out of ignorance. And the children (both mother and child) become wards of the state. Literally. A sad situation for all concerned. I can understand your concern for Charlie, but he is really not much better off with you than his own mother. I don't mean that to be insulting. But concern is not the same as ability to care. And are you expecting your own parents to assume the supportive role? You have no right to do this. Charlie is not a stray "pet" that you brought home. Talk seriously to your friend,...and her "mother". If they will not properly care for Charlie, then he should be taken away from them and put in legal foster care. Life 101, hon. Not always Mary Poppins.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007):

Are you sure you want to do this ? seems like you have already gotten too attached to this little boy.If you do keep him for a while, it will be difficult if she decide to take him away. I admire you for being so responsible and caring for your friend and her baby but be careful not to get too involved. Have you talked to your parents about this ? If they do not have a problem then all of you should get together and talk about this. Ask your friend what she really wants and if she cares about Charlie.

Maybe your parents can adopt him, hope I am not being too stong here. I feel sorry for Charlie also, but remember that you are just a child yourself, think this through properly and so talk to your folks first.

Hope that this helps. Take care and I wish you the very best.

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