A
male
age
30-35,
*rokenKuato
writes:Where to start... I met "B" about 4 months ago when we met he made it very clear he just wanted to be friends and wasn't looking for anything. I made the same clear to him we I was happy to have him as a friend. The problem came when I started to get a mysterious irresistible urge to spend time with him. I mean "B" he just looks incredible, he's got a golden brown tan we're exactly the same height his body is magnificent not too muscular but just slim and toned. He's even got a little diamond belly piercing there is honestly not one bad thing about the way he looks. So it's no surprise really that I found him attractive. I told my friend how I felt and she is also friends with "B", she told me he's so hard to read that nobody ever knows what he wants. Anyway I finally plucked up the courage to let him know how I felt his response was as expected he just kindly reminded me that he couldn't have a relationship as he didn't want one. Mortified I avoided him for a few days and he didn't make much effort to speak to me either. One weekend I get a text saying we're going out I'd love for you to come and have it like we used too..I went and yeah we all got pretty drunk. At the end of the night he ran into my arms and kissed me like there was no tomorrow it felt like a dream come true. We went back to mine that night and I told him straight out I wouldn't have sex because I was drunk and he was too and I'm not that type of guy. I made up the spare bed and got ready to sleep when he came in and asked me just to cuddle with him tonight, nothing sexual just cuddling and kissing. I did and it was magical everything felt perfect and I watched him sleep, he was smiling all night. The next morning we got up and had breakfast I dropped him at his house about lunchtime and he texted me saying "thanks, I don't have any regrets :) xxxx"I thought everything I had wished for was coming true, until later that night he started ignoring me and when I asked what was going on between us two he said "We're just friends nothing will ever happen your not my type". I was devastated my heart fell out of my mouth and I cried for hours I got so confused I didn't know what to say. I felt like such an idiot - I thought was he just using me for sex? but I know "B" really well he doesn't go home with anyone he likes he's only ever had sex once and he is defiantly not someone who would put himself in that type of situation so it couldn't be that. Then I spoke to our mutual friend again.. she said he always does this to people who likes him.. He's so scared that he will be cheated on again that he just can't trust himself to get close to anyone he doesn't trust boys at all... He puts up massive defence walls and pushes anyone who likes him away. So here is my dilemma I think I'm in love with my friend. He tells me he feels nothing yet kisses me and sleeps with me and says he doesn't regret it. His best friend the person who knows him best tells me it's just his defences.My question is do I just give up on the person I love or do I ride it out and try and win his heart by proving that I can be trusted..I keep reading the following qoute and wonder if it's whats going on.. "People put up walls not to keep people out.. but to see if there is one person who will risk everything to get over it.." Thank you for reading and any advice that's given is much apprechiated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stevie-Leigh +, writes (6 February 2012):
Hello.
So I've just spent the last 5 or 6 minutes reading your problem & I must say I do honestly feel for you completely.
I've been in this situation & it isn't a good place to be.
You feel confused & used.
But there IS light at the end of the tunnel hun, in my opinion I believe he does like you a lot but is scared of getting close, getting that connection & losing you in a flash which in anyones standard that is utterly heartbreaking, loving someone so much then losing them and having no way of getting them back, I think what you should do is sit down & express how you feel to him completely hold nothing back be yourself & express yourself. Let it all out it won't only lift a huge weight off your shoulders it may reassure him as to how you feel too. Sometimes we just need abit of reassurance that everything is going to be okay.
Make sure he listens till you've said everything you need to say then you listen to him, sitting down & listening to eachother sometimes does the trick. Reassure him you like him a lot & want to be there & that your not going to let him down in any way. I'm sure once your both on a level with eachother things will start to get better.
Good luck.
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