A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is tearing me apart...About a year and a half ago, when I was 17, I met this girl.There's no other way I can describe it, but it felt like we just "clicked" instantly.She was with another girl who I knew to be 15, so without much thought, I assumed she was as well.For 2 weeks I was happier then I ever thought I could be. We'd hang out laughing and talking and it just felt so perfect. I could stare into her eyes and it felt like the most natural thing in the world...Then I found out she'd only just turned 13.No way did she look or act 13 and to say this came as a shock would be a massive understatement.Now trust me when I say I'm not like the majority of guys (I don't drink either) so I did the only honourable thing, and that was to back off.My feelings didn't change though...but she dosn't know how I feel.I guess what I'm trying to say is; I am more then happy to wait until she's 16 (UK age of consent)and even then, it's NOT about sex. I couldn't stress that enough. I'm really not that bad looking, so if that were the case, I'd could go elsewhere (not that I would)I just feel really guilty though, even though technicaly I've done nothing wrong and it's doing my head in. I know on paper it dosn't look good, but when we're face to face...all that goes out of the window.Please someone ressure me I'm not some "monster"She's 15 soon, would it be wrong if we stick to being "just friends" for now?Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Farris +, writes (13 May 2007):
 There is absolutely no reason that you can't continue being friends, so long as you feel able to stick to your original thoughts of not taking it any further.
In other words, if you can trust yourself not to do anything that you'll regret, then stay friends!
Best wishes!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should probably just point out she's nearly 15, and I'm 19...I know that dosn't really change the situation though...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): I remember about 8 months ago a senior police officer spoke out calling for men who have sex with girls of 13 or over to not be classed as paedophiles because it had become too much of a "grey-area". Obviously this was condemned by child charities and it wasn't taken any further, however it does show that young teenage girls these days can and do look a lot older than they actually are. Also not forgetting the age of consent in Spain is 13, so don't be so hard on yourself.
I don't think there's anything wrong having a friendship with her, you sound like an honourable person and intelligent enough to not be told what to do in this case.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 May 2007):
 You are not a monster and it is very easy to make such mistakes as girls tend to look older than they are these days with fashione being what it is. At least you found out early enough to back off. 14 is too young for a 18 year old mentally as much as the legal aspects - she may look and act older but chances are she is still a little girl (remember how you were at that age). If you really like her then wait a couple of years until she is a bit older and who knows!
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (11 May 2007):
 You are an honourable guy! Not many people would have done the same thing! But you obviously have morals and that is something lacking in todays society.
I cannot stress enough how good it is to know that there are still people like you out there. Polite, have morals and not only interested in one thing.
I can honestly say that, although I dont know you, I respect you for your actions. You are anything but a monster I can assure you of that!
Wait another year and if you still feel the same about her, go for it! Not easy I know, been there, done that! I was in the same situation some years ago. I was 15 and he was 23. He thought I was a lot older, but I didnt allow it to go any further. He on the other hand, didnt think that it mattered. If only he had the same honourable manner that you obviously do!
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