A
female
age
41-50,
*olonial 2013
writes:ive been sexually active with a few guys in my neighborhood and ive fell in love with someone who lives close who doesent know about my past and im afraid of him finding out. what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): If I were you, I would just tell him you have been looking around for a while for something you didn't know was there all the time....
I fell in love with my neighbour and others managed make sure it couldn't happen.....I was new to the area and they were a tight group.
I miss him all the time. Life is to short. X
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): Well, if I was him then I would want you to be honest and tell me. Honesty goes hand in hand with trust, and without trust there can be no relationship. Its better from the start he knows so that he can make his mind up early on if to pursue this with you or not, than for him to find out somewhere down the line, it will plant the seed of doubt in his mind whether he can trust and believe your actions and words. That's never a pleasant place to be in a relationship.
My opinion.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2013):
 how would he find out? would one of your former lovers tell him? would he ask them?
why is this even a concern at your age you would normally have prior partners.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): Your past is not your current BF's business, as long as those past lovers are staying in the past.
But if your BF interacts with any of these guys, or you are still friendly with them, that is the present. Your BF has the right to know that you have a sexual history with someone who is still in your lives today.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 March 2013):
 so is this guy friends with all of these guys in the neighborhood? i don't particularly see how it's really any of his business, but however, i feel it's always best to go ahead and be honest since it's possible he may accidentally hear about it from other people who live near you. so i think it may be best to come from you first.
if this is a deal-breaker for him, i think that's his loss. i'm sure he's been sexually active with more than his fair share of women before you. just because they may not have been his neighbors means nothing. your sexual past shouldn't matter. what happened before him is not really his business to judge. it's only what happens during.
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