A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i really need some advice.i dont understand why i feel like this-its silly.a guy i work with who only started a month ago im sure im developing feelings for-why ? well when we work together we get on really really well-it feels like we're flirting rather than working. everytime i work with him i dont want the day to end. i go home and get really excited about working with him again. ive helped him loads being new and stuff. heres the problem.his ex wife left him 6 months ago-he took it really badly but is already casually dating someone he met 3 weeks ago. he has 4 kids 2 from first wife-teenagers-two from second-little toddlers. ive been alone for 8 months-the guy i was with used me and left me in loads of debt-so i dont want any problems.can you please help me here though-what should i do ? i catch him looking at me and then when i turn my head he looks away-he calls me nearly everyday for help and work advice and we have a LOT in common and like i said when we work together we get on amazingly well . im not a troublemaker and sure need a quiet life and dont want to get hurt but is he rebounding with this other girl ? when we talk he seems quite fragile and this is crazy but i always worry about him -whats going to happen i didnt ask for or expect these feelings-will they go away-does he like me-is he dodgy help please x
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female
reader, Larrk  +, writes (13 December 2009):
I would not encourage him. Think it through and you do work with him which could mean a lot of problems at your work place if it doesn't go well.
He also has 4 kids and his wife dumped him. He is going to be a very poor man for the next 18 years and most of his check going to child support. Do you want to be that poor?
Any woman that divorces her husband after having 4 children must have a very good reason.
Give her a call and hear her side of the story. You don't have to say who you are and how you know him. I bet you will get an ear full.
Think it over.
A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 He was just left by his wife. Flirting mainly in this case fondles his ego, I don't know if he plans to take it any further with you than flirting but if he does, this wouldn't be fair to the woman he is seeing, be her a rebound or not - unless they have such kind of a deal where they can date others as well. My guess is that it is probably a rebound, and I get the feeling it's not exactly a "quiet life" what you would expect from this man, who has two families to support and is probably not very expert at handling relationships - judging by the two failed marriages in his registry unfortunately. My advice to you is to not take the flirting too seriously or too far. I wouldn't hurry to rescue him seeing how "fragile" you think he is. It might be a better idea to worry about your very self here firstly and save the time of the day for a more available person, preferably someone outside of the office. All the best.
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