A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really guilty and awful and i don't know what to do. I like this guy but i'm always to shy to let anything on to indicate this. On top of this i think he must hate me now because I got fairly drunk at a party and his friend started trying to feel me up (which i definitely did not want) right when i was sitting next to this guy i like, who at the time i'm not even sure if he noticed what was happening as he was fairly buggered. I feel like such a tramp though and don't deserve this guy anyway. I'm lost on what to do, i don't want people to percieve me this way, it's so far from what i usually am and i don't know what to do or who to talk to. I can't talk to this guy i like as, well i'm sure he wouldn't want to talk to me but also it's awkward as he is best mates with this guy who was feeling me up, and again i'm not even sure if he noticed this was happening and i don't want to do anything to stuff up their friendship. I'm probably regarding myself far too highly right now too, feeling guilty about what this guy thinks about me when he may have never had feelings for me and doesn't even care what i do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): Okay, damage control. Hold your head up. Muster up your courage and strike up a conversation with the dude you like. You already said you're not sure he even knew what happened that night. So let it go. If he brings it up, then simply tell him what you told us. You were drunk (always a bad idea, to be that drunk in the first place) and let's face it, some guys come on too strong and cross the line. It's over with. You're not happy about it, but hopefully it won't happen again. End of sentence. If he can't handle it, he probably isn't worth having anyhow. And if he doesn't ask, don't volunteer to talk about it in any way, shape or form. Just forget it happened and move on. It was a lapse in judgement for both of you. Quit beating yourself up. Just be smarter next time and don't get so drunk you're an easy target. Then you won't have to feel poorly about yourself afterwards. Best of luck.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 And your problems is ...?
Nobody can "un-happen" that party. Nobody can fix it so you didn't get drunk and didn't get groped by this guy and the guy wasn't the friend of a guy you'd really like to be with. You're going to have to live with all that.
So, what's next?
First, stay away from parties where you're likely to get drunk and groped again. If you don't want the reputation, don't do the deed. Chances are that more than this one guy now knows that you got felt up, and there are other guys who would like to find out first hand (so to speak) if you get drunk and let guys do that when you go to parties. So don't.
As for this guy you like, your best bet is to try to treat him as you would any other guy. Let him know, subtly, that you are interested, and see how he responds. Just ignore the party incident as far as dealing with him socially is concerned. Put it out of your mind. You want to deal with him as a potential date and boyfriend. Time enough to deal with the party incident if he brings it up. I'm betting he won't. So just treat him as you would any other guy. I'm sure you've had experience attracting guys before, haven't you?
Go for it.
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