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I like the idea of a threesome but I'm worried I would be made to feel like the "second wheel"...

Tagged as: Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been dating this dude for about 7 months and he and I are both great at exploring new things sexually. Lately, he has been asking me to have a threesome which i am okay with.

I love trying new things and I want to have the threesome too. I am just concerned that since my partner wants to do that he's going to want to have sex with "her" all the time and not me i will be like the second wheel or something.

I really want to please him in every way i can but i'm afraid this will ruin our future together. We do want to get married next year thats all we talk about, that and having a threesome. I am going to have a problem with her being all touchy-touchy and feely-feely with my "future husband".

So i just want to know how do i deal with this type of situation? I love him to death should i do this for both me and him? I do want to explore because i have never had a threesome before. Somebody what should I do???????? Help me if you can because i need it at the moment.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008):

Hire a female masseuse for him & male masseuse for you. Do the sensual massage in the same room together. No sex, just a lot of touching, see how you both feel watching each other.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

BAD IDEA! Such a huge sin. Relationships are designed for two people not three. What does this tell you about your relationship. He has only been with you 7 months and already wants a threesome. It sounds convenient that he talks about marriage alongside threesomes. I would be careful here.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (8 October 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntBad plan!! Threesomes = complete fiasco . The aftermath is disastrous to relationships and it sounds like this will be the case in yours. You sound like you already have insecurities, and I think that the drama of a threesome will be toxic for you and the future hubby.

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A male reader, Dr. Reality Check United Kingdom +, writes (8 October 2008):

Dr. Reality Check agony auntWow - honest opinion - you are totally too insecure to be doing ANYTHING like this...if you want to ruin your relationship completely, this is a good way for you to go about it.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntEven people who go into a threesome without any doubts have terrible problems after the event. Since you have some doubts already it looks like a very bad idea to me. Tell your boyfriend you just want him all to yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

Bad idea. Always a very bad idea.

Type 'Threesome' into the search box at the top of the page and check out all the disaster stories, of which there are plenty.

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