A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Last year my ex split up with me for another girl. I was so upset and it took me months to get over it. I havnt spoke to my ex since, and dont want to either, but the other night I got talking to his girlfriend and realised that I actually like her. I must admit that when my ex first got with her, i absolutely hated her and alot of my friends started to dislike her too.Anyway, I seen her out and we got talking and my ex was with her but he didnt speak to me. I realised that I didnt feel upset anymore but relieved to be able to talk to this girl without feeling anything horrible. It was so weird, I found her really nice and funny and we talked for ages. I got the feeling my ex thought I was just trying to wind him up but I really wasnt, even when they were hugging and kissing I didnt feel anything. But is it right to feel this way? And how do I stop my ex from thinking that Im just trying to wind him up, cos even when he sees me with another boy he thinks its to get at him when it isnt! I dont want to talk to him and explain this, as I really dont want to speak to him again, not because I still feel anger towards him but because I just want to pretend that I dont know him. But I dont want him to keep thinking that if he sees me kissing another boy or date someone else its to annoy him, because it really isnt. And I like his gf, and will talk to her when I see her, is all this right?!!!! Has anyone else been in a similar situation or give me any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (28 August 2006):
I think you should not worry about what that idiot boy thinks about you, have a good time, you owe him nothing if he is paranoic about you and her talking about him it tis not your business simply ignore him you're not Saint Theressa you're a wonderful girl, open minded, modern an cool if he is a closed minded chauvinist and a cheater then it is not your business
love
Astrid
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think he still has feelings for me cos I know how much he loves his gf, I just think he hates me cos he thinks Im trying to wind him up and yes I believe he thinks I still love him but I dont and I want him to know that but I dont know how! I know the easiest wasy would be to just leave it and let him thinks what he wants but Im worried he may be telling people, other boys in particular, that Im with them to try and wind him up. Yes I think he thinks I still love him and it annoys me that he can think my life revolves around him!!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (28 August 2006):
He probably cannot believe it, but you have had your closure and no longer see this girl in a threatening manner. You do not see her as your exes partner, you see her for the person she is. There is nothing wrong with that. I think he might still have feelings for you and I think he feels that you may still love him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): I think it is great that you can talk to his girlfriend and the fact that when they kiss and cuddle in front of you it doesn't bother you,all of that says that you have moved on and there's nothing wrong with that ok.Your ex obviously thinks that your life still revolves around him and whatever you do is to get back at him,let him think it but at the end of the day you have proven that you have moved on by your actions.There is nothing you can do to stop making him think this and there is no point in justifying yourself,you have moved on now so let him think what he wants it shouldn't bother you so don't let it.
x
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