A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Im 16 years old.Me and my friends are like a close team and we are close to each other. We are really often going out and having an amazing time. Im the newest member in the "gang". They are trying to keep the "love" stuff outside of the team because they don't want to damage the crew. My problem is that I really like a boy there and I think they know it. He was really friendly to me ftom the first time and he is really friendly and close to all the girls. I dont want to get hurt. I don't want to lose my friends and I like the boy. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 I'd still suggest moving on, as friends are more important than boyfriend's at your age (and sometimes through life).If you do want to ask him out, though, I'd talk to your other friends first, to see how they'd feel and show them you're trying to be nice and talk to them beforehand.However, dating within a friendship group isn't a great idea as a break up (which is often inevitable in your teen years) can split the group and somewhat force them to take sides. As the new person, you may end up isolated further.
A
female
reader, EnvyLawliet +, writes (8 December 2016):
Go with what feels right for you, I know it sounds harsh but friends do not always last forever. And always remember to think... would you regret it if you did nothing? If you would regret doing nothing then do not let that happen. Do not let other people control what you feel, if you like him give it a go. You are your own person. Be strong and take a leap of faith, its what life is all about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry..wromg English. Its just a group of friends. Its nothing inappropriate
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers I appreciate it
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (8 December 2016):
Can we please clarify what typ of "gang" this is?
Is it just a group of friends, or do they do things they shouldn't? (Like vandalism, intimidation, stealing, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): Lets hope its not a gang because being the newest you are going to be in for some nasty shocks.Lets see, you know the rule about not dating and yet the first thing you want to do is to date a boy who is being super nice but no-one dates him?So you cant be trusted.So theyre gonna want to test your loyalty.In gang cases that can mean a group activity like you having to do some stuff to every guy in the group while they take videos to show the girls later and to put on you tube, if you break the rules again or if the gang gets broken into etcAnd they expect you to understand that because they were all so nice to you and this "lurve stuff" gets in the way cos people get jealous and jealousy makes insecurity and insecurity is not good for the team because it was "tight" before.So you want to act "loose" and mess it all up?Get yourself out of the gang before you get messed up by invisible rules that you know nothing about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is already in the crew. Im just afraid that if I lose him or if it won't work between us, It will be awkward with me in the crew. Should I just forget him and keep him in a friend zone? But thats hard
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 December 2016):
 When you get a boyfriend it often means other relationships suffer, sometimes just temporarily. People prefer to spend time with their date than 'the crew'. Could it be possible to combine the two, some time with him and then other times with the gang.
It does mean coming out in the open about your feelings - but hey!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 December 2016):
 Who's in CONTROL? The "gang" sounds like a bunch of control freaks that is limiting your choices. Gangs can fall into a group-think trap. My advice is to forgo the gang in favor of self respect and independent thinking. Sure hanging out with a bunch of folks can be fun for a while but what happens when the gang decides to do something weird ? Do you follow them?
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