A
female
age
36-40,
*eaceandhope
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We have travelled the world together and have always been very happy. We have spoken about getting engaged and where we will settle down to raise our family. He has always treated me with respect care and love. For the past few months I have been paranoid over the girls he works with because I felt he was hiding something from me and I knew one of his work colleagues had a crush on him. I decided to ask for his phone to look through his pictures I told him it was for Christmas cards, he gave me his phone and I noticed he instantly started to panic. So I started to panic! I found pictures of random woman he had saved them from facebook then I completely freaked out when I saw a few photos he had taken himself (3 in total). Looking at all of the photos I realized it was all focused on legs. His always been a leg man I just didn't realize it was a fetish! I felt so betrayed and hurt. My heart broke in that moment, I felt like I didn't know him at all. He was very remorseful and couldn't stop apologizing. He explained that when I'm not around porn doesn't do it for him but this does. He deleted the photos immediately. His promised never to do it again. I've told him I will give him a second chance. We've agreed I can take his phone whenever I want to go through it. Am I being a fool giving him another chance? I mean taking photos of women without there knowledge is so creepy! Every time I think about it I don't see my loving boyfriend I see a creep!!
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (8 December 2016):
Liking legs is fine but I gotta agree with Cindy and the anonymous female poster who've both pointed out that it IS creepy to obtain "wanking fodder" by photographing women who don't know they're being photographed (or don't know why the photo is being taken or how it will be used).
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2016):
 What I find creepy is not his leg fetish, which compared to other stuff sounds in fact mild, but his habit to take legs' pics without the woman's knowledge and consent. As if there weren't enough legs pics on I-net , fashion magazines, lingerie catalogues , art books etc. to fulfill the needs of the most demanding leg fetishist !! All he'd have to do would be to get himself a pin up calendar. Or a book about Mary Quant and the Swinging London - whatever. But no, that's not fun enough, the fun is being sneaky and
" stealing " pics of random unaware women. Yeah, that's creepy in my book.
Is it something serious enough to leave him about this ?
.. I don't know. Maybe not. If this is the only blemish in a spotless track record as a boyfriend... and if he understands how invasive and inappropriate is to go around hunting real life prey for masturbation fodder, (regardless of the body part of his choice )... and if he is someone that is known to keep his word when he promises something...
then again, I think you realized yourself what's the main problem -that he is NOT the same person you fell in love with in your eyes. He may still be a great guy , yet he is a great guy who is also willing and capable to do creepy things the thought of which had not even crossed your mind. He is just not the same as before , for you; if you can happily and serenely accept the " new ", and not improved, version - that only you can know it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): I guess to his wife or girlfriend, any man with pictures of any woman's legs other than hers is "creepy." One picture of another woman's anything is too many; so it's hard for us to judge the guy for being anything but a leg-man.
Okay, you've pegged him as a creep. He has now been busted and all the pictures have been deleted. He has authorized you to be his phone-Nazi. You can now patrol his phone and treat him like a sex-offender.
So will you now live happily ever-after? I doubt it. He's not going to appreciate being treated that way, and you don't trust him. It's just a matter of time now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): It's not unusual for men to be attracted to particular body parts but what is creepy is photographing women without their consent. It's a violation for women to be photographed for sexual purposes they've not given consent to and illegal in my country (the UK). I know as it happened to me.
There are millions of pictures of women's legs on the internet that he can freely look at, however if part of the fetish for him is the secrecy then he needs to see someone about it before he's discovered in the act and potentially prosecuted.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (7 December 2016):
 No its not creepy at all. Hes in love with legs, so be it. Many men watch porn still even when they are still in relationships, your man's porn is legs so thats pretty much it. Theres not much to take from this except that he loves legs and it turns him on. I wonder why he hasnt shared this interest with you but Im guessing maybe because he knew who you were and was scared to tell you. He probably knows youre someone he cant confide that fetish with? SO I wonder what kind of relationship you have. Is it as close as you thought it would be? The only thing Id be concern with is that he is in fact saving these pictures and taking some on his own but the leg interest in it of itself is not creepy. I know people are into creepier things.My advice is talk to him. Get to know him better. Are you both sexual? Why not discuss what turns you both on and what you and he can do for him to tell him how you like things instead of him hiding it. Its not worth breaking up over, he sounds like he is a wonderful boyfriend. Good luck
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 December 2016):
 There's a lot and I mean A LOT of weird fetishes out there. While I don't think him liking legs is creepy, taking the pictures without consent is.
Is it enough to break up over? That's to your discretion. It doesn't sound like it is to you or else you wouldn't of given a second chance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): Creep is an interesting word, I think we all might define it slightly differently. So I won't say he's a creep. He's a guy who likes legs and takes pictures of other women's legs and looks for and saves pictures of other women's legs. This is part of who he is. And probably (most likely) there's something deeper inside him that compels him to this type of behavior. And something that makes him hide it. Yes, a person can work on changing a behavior but ultimately a person is who they are. So he may be able to successfully change his behavior, but there's something in him that likely won't change. And if you want to still be with him and make it work, you may have to accept he might not be able to change. Are you ok with that? If you're only worried he's a "creep," I don't know. Maybe think about what exactly bothers you and what your concern is (that he's criminally minded and preying on women? That he'll cheat on you and lie to you? That he doesn't think you're good enough?). For example, say there's a husband who likes to dress up in women's clothes but is faithful and loving to his wife- is he a creep? I think it depends on the person looking at the situation and what exactly bothers that person, and maybe it helps to know why the husband is doing it. You're giving him a second chance, so you don't want to just end things. Think about all of that and figure out what bothers you, what your line in the sand is and if that's ok.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2016):
 I DO think it's creepy to take pictures of other women IF they aren't consenting or agreeing to have them taken, though pictures of legs are FAIRLY innocuous and tame. At least it's not up-skirt pics or toilet pics.
And his excuse? What a load of BS. He was basically saying it's OK for him to do it because YOU weren't around. Really? So it's your fault for not being around that "made" him do it? What a crock. And what was he so "remorseful" over when all he did was "blame" you? I think he was more upset that 1. he got caught and 2. that you now know he is capable of this.
Now did you explain what really upset you? The taking pictures without consent? Or does he think it you were upset because it's OTHER women's legs?
Maybe you need to have another chat about this with him.
Is it enough to break up over? I don't know. However how he HANDLED getting caught makes me think he doesn't really see what the REAL issue is and THAT is a problem because that can mean he will do it again.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 December 2016):
 I agree, he does sound like a creep. At a minimum he has a hidden side that is unsettling to you. Ergo, good times traveling or not. I'd leave the dude to his life in cyber-hell
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