A
female
age
26-29,
*ngleHeart
writes:I like this guy a lot! When my best friend found out that i liked him she told me she does too, but before that she told me she would never date him... So now she is trying to get me to think that he's mad at me and get him to think that im mad at him just so we wont talk to each other. Her plan didnt work. Shes telling me that she saw him, knew him and liked him first. She doesnt get that its not a competition ): and now shes spreading rumors. she knows i like him and longer then her. What should i do?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 December 2011):
 The old saying was:
"Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, the other gold" still apllies.
BUT that saying is based on the premise that friends will always be kind, and caring towards you.
No one deserves to be humiliated and manipulated and find that others are being told to listen to lies about you.
Perhaps ask if you can discuss some options with a school counsellor to discuss how all thus make you.
Ask her to stop being so hurtful. And tell her, "Our perceptions of the situation may be different, but all I know is that I thought you were my friend. Yet when you spread rumors and walk about my back I feel betrayed and that makes me so sad that I feel like stepping away from you until you stop being so mean to me"
Best wishes
Abella
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 December 2011):
You can reward your friend for her undermining disloyal behavior. You really do not want to lose her as a friend, because you DO regard her as a friend.
But she is treating this as a competition and she wants him all to herself. Sadly for you she is causing you pain and making herself look like a fool.
But you cannot make her behave any other way. This IS how she really is, at the moment.
Keep talking to the boy, to see how much you like him. And make it clear, if he asks that you have no idea why she is making up these stories about you, as the stories do not reflect who you are.
At the same time, take the high ground and do not talk in a critical negative way. Just explain that she has been your friend for ages and you thought you really knew her, but that you do not understand why she is behaving uncharacteristically at the moment.'
But keep your distance, while she is acting up in such a negative way.
If she complains about you distancing yourself from her repeat the mantra above, namely that "she has been your friend for ages and you thought you really knew her, but that you do not understand why she is behaving uncharacteristically at the moment." And you can add that you 'cannot imagine why a person would spread rumours and tell lies about you and then still expect to be considered a friend'. If she persists, then advise her that if she stops spreading lies about you then of course you would love to be her friend againl.
Continue to see the guy, when convenient.
Good luck with this sad situation.
...............................
|
