A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, My problem is probably quite small and easily solved, but its at the forefront of my mind at the moment.I've recently discovered feelings for one of my best friends and he certainly gives off the impression that they are reciprocated, as its not just me that thinks it.He is completely unaware of how I feel because I have never told him so the only way he would ever know is through speculation on his part.Trouble is, he has a girlfriend. He hasn't been with her long and he only got with her after it seemed like I wasn't interested through starting to see someone else. However, we've started spending a lot of time with each other again, I am now completely single and he is with her.I would let this lie and try to forget about it all, but all the signs are pointing to something happening, even down to the fact that his gf is around and he is avoiding me meeting her. (N.B: I am in no way interfering with the relationship there.)I feel like I'm just waiting on a maybe, or a chance that something could happen and I want to know if I should give up once and for all or whether to wait and see where it goes.
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male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Don't be lonely or miserable over it. If you want to wait and see if he breaks it off with her, then wait and don't interfere. I however don't see any harm in telling him that you are interested in him, but if you want a go at a lasting relationship, then don't allow him to be intimate with you in any way (not even kissing) until he breaks it off with her. Don't let him think that you would find it acceptable to cheat on any girl. If he says oh really and doesn't break it off with her within a reasonable mount of time (a week or so), then you know he can't be too interested in you and that will be your cue to move on. You may just be sensing his wanting to have his cake and eat it too. Once you're intimate, be prepared for what it could do to your relationship. You may not have one. Decide what you want and do it. Live life and love. Life too short not to be happy.
A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (24 July 2007):
 first things first - you said that this problem is probably quite small-----its not small if its important to you and it involves your emotions and feelings! secondly - im really pleased to hear your not going to try anything while he has a girlfriend.thirdly - only you can decide wether you want to wait and see whether his new relationship works or whether you think its worth moving on. it depends how strongly you feel for him and how convinced you are of his feelings for you! do you want to wait around on the off chance that he mite choose you one day? i think you need to ask yourself these queations in order to make a decision!sorry i cant be more help!xxx
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