A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boss is very young (24) and new to the boss job (but not new to the workplace, shes worked here 3.5 yrs) shes good at her job, is lucky to have it at her age, and I dont dislike her but wondet why shes so cliquey, her age maybe? shes super cliquey and though she's not a bully if I don't say hi first she wont talk to me unless its work related, which is up to her I know but...she talks to 90% other colleagues, all ages..she leaves me be largely butshe will never ask how I am or make small talk like she does with others.i have tried and get one word answers or "good" " fine" answers.. so now Im polite and professional and talk if.. she does, which is rare.Im ok at my job, have been there a while, am an average worker, not bad at my job, get along mostly with people, am not an in charge etc,im nothing special, am just average me.I like my job and most colleagues, Im not leaving! We just dont "click" and I feel she may sense this unconsciously..and feed off her power..should I just keep being professional and not worry she wont talk to me?dont want to be " try hard" or " weird"what can I do? she asks everyone else how they are, which is why I wonder if I should worry.. we just dont " click"..please don't be nasty, Im trying my best.genuine replies please thanks
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (21 October 2014):
 My instinct says shes being passive aggressive with you about something and as a result you dont receive the same communication. Does she favor others over you in terms of maybe buying lunch or granting vacation time or something else? if so thats a flag. I didnt mix with the american work culture for several reasons and this situation sounds like its building into something potentially bad.
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (20 October 2014):
 Don't worry about it. You seem to be thinking up too many possibilities of why she is not being more friendly etc etc. Maybe it's cuz she's new? Maybe although she is manager level, deep inside she still feels scared to approach new employees or doesn't have the same confidence you have as you are older and more experienced.
There can be tons of possibilities.
Just continue doing your job and being the friendly person you are and I'm sure in time, you will get to know each other better and become closer.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2014):
 I don't think you have anything to worry. Of course you are not leaving, why should you ? Do no evil, fear no evil. You are being polite , professional and doing a
" not bad ", " average " ( your words ) = acceptable job. On turn, your boss is not being friendly or chatty, but neither she is being mean or abusive or rude to you, so , it's a good , or at least acceptable , PROFESSIONAL relationship.
If your question is , why can't I make her be more friendly and talkative ?... Who knows, OP, probably the age gap. Or, like you said, you simply do not click personalitywise , for no particular reason,- but that's not a problem as long as you can WORK well together. Actually, it does not have to be personal at all.
Maybe it's not even about clicking.
More simply is that she has got her job, her duties, her responsibilities, her closer colleagues , her " work " buddies already.. and she just is not motivated / interested in making NEW friends, or responding to their friendly ouvertures, no matter who they might be. There was a study of a social scientist , about Facebook, and he basically says that's pointless to have tons of Facebook contacts or keep adding FB friends... because our brain has got relational capacity for about 150 people at most. We can go over that limit if we have to- but it's an effort and not a pleasure.
Not just close friends , mind you. The number also would include colleagues, employees, neighbours, your usual shopkeepers and service providers....it's like we are wired to care about / remember / keep daily contact / have regular convos etc.etc.- with no more than 150 people.
Suppose you are no. 151... she is just not interested. But it's not about you, it's about her having reached her " relational limit " so to speak.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 October 2014):
 I wouldn't worry. You are there to work, so keep being professional, courteous and friendly.
If she doesn't WANT to be chatty with you, that is her prerogative. My guess is, she might be a little intimidated by you, because of your age.
Just like SHE won't "click" with everyone in a workplace, neither will you. And it's OK.
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