A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy, he’s lovely, we get on so well and we really like each other. Problem is, he’s the ex boyfriend of one of my best friends. For months I’ve tried to ignore it thinking that it was just a crush that would go away but it hasn’t it’s only intensified. Every time I see him it just gets worse :( I end up feeling rubbish and it’s just really starting to hurt now knowing I can’t do anything about it. I haven’t liked/been attracted to someone like this in so long. I don’t want to hurt or upset anyone and I especially don’t want to lose my friend. He’s really understanding about the whole thing and knows that I have everything to lose if I choose him. I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I can be “just friends” with him :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): Friends with benefits???? Seriously though why don't you try talking to your friend about it (the person who was originally going out with this guy) air things out and see what happens.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (19 December 2011):
Well, you've already talked to him about it, so the next logical step is to talk to your friend about it.
If you're 100% honest with her, hopefully she'll give you some sort of response. The next issue is, what do you do with her response? What if she says "No, its not okay," effectively putting you in the position to choose between her and him?
Think about what you'd do in that situation in order to gauge just how important you think this guy is to you. Overall, I'd tell you that any good friend of yours should be okay with you dating someone, no matter who they are, and be supportive, but in reality, this isn't the case for a lot of people.
I hope that she's okay with it, but I wouldn't bank on it.
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