A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I have a problem and i would really like other people's opinion about this. I started liking a boy because i was thinking he was liking me too and he had his sister in his class then we became friends with her too and now we're really close.I started liking him more because he was giving me singals like he was liking me too. We made eye contact or he would look at me very often,sometimes when i catched him looking at me he would turn away,sometimes he wouldnt care but watch me still.We have many moments together,i suspect that some of his friends know because i had one of his best friends in my class and i think he knows because my best friend saw the two of them talking together while smiling and looking at me.Everyday in school something happened we had many shares of little things,moments,eye contacts but when we finished school and went so some colleges he came with his sister too but he never talked to me nor to my friends.And i was a bit dissapointed because he had the chance there to talk to me if he liked me like he was giving me signals in school. One day when i met him he was with a friend i was with a friend and our friends knew each other so she went to talk to him and took me with her then we both talked just hey how are you how ya doin and nothing else but when we said goobye he said the other girls goodbye just normally but when he said goodbye to me he held my hand much much longer and i was very surprised because he wouldnt let my hand go and i didnt also then after a time of course. but anyway i never saw him again. But then,I told everything to my friend (so his sister) and she didnt knew about this she was a bit surprised and wanted to help me so she asked her brother what do you think about my friend( and mentioned my name) but he didnt say anything he just made that face like he didnt have or know what to say. like he just didnt care to say anything.They dont really talk about like or love with each other se he didnt say anything to her anymore and she didnt say to him neither.I dont want him to know i like him because i think he knew it while we were in school already and i thought i knew for him too but hes just not doing anything to talk to me or something. So it is possible that he actually didnt like me and thats why he didnt even say anything to his sister or there's a chance that he liked me but doesnt care anymore? I would really like your opinion. Thank you.
View related questions:
best friend, friend's brother Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 August 2018):
Just because you are friends it doesn't mean you need to tell her everything. It is not a betrayal your entitled to your own private life as well. I guess now you just need to get over him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaunt honesty, also I couldnt just write to him or something because my friend would know then and would ask me, so the best way was telling her first and to make it all clear.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaunt honesty, I didnt get her to ask him about him.We're close friends so she wanted to help me with what she can and said you can get an answer about all this atleast maybe.I didnt ask her to talk to him or anything because I would never want to lose my friendship with her and thats why. The thing why I told her everything was that she told me everything about herself,her life and me not telling her about this it looked like a betray from me to her and thats why I decided its better to tell her. So i didnt do anything to get like... a benefit from her about his or something. I'm not like that!
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 August 2018):
The thing is asking his sister to ask him is something that you would see in the playground, the best way would have been to simply write a message and ask him would he like to meet up for lunch or a cup of coffee. Telling his sister is one thing but getting her to ask him about it is another.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaunt honesty, i didnt make him feel awkward because he doesnt know that i've told his sister.And i dont think it was the worst thing to tell his sister because we're really close friends and she told me everything about herself so me not telling her it looked like a betray to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (25 August 2018):
I think that you developed a crush on him and that you may like him more than he does. As women we over think everything and he probably doesn't even know you are thinking half off these things.
Making eye contact is normal enough, it doesn't mean much.
Sweetie your best friend has your best interests at heart but they could have been talking about anything it might not have been about you at all.
He held your hand a little longer which was sweet but it doesn't mean he likes you any more than a friend. He may even see you as his sisters friend and nothing more, he may look at you because he might think you are attractive, but it doesn't mean that he wants a girlfriend. Men do tend to stare.
Telling his sister was probably the worst thing you could do, it probably made him feel very awkward. I mean come on you are all adults, surely you could have spoke to him yourself and asked him would he like to grab a coffee sometime. Getting his sister to do it is something you would find a young teenager doing in the playground.
If he is not making the effort to talk to you then my best advice would be to move on. If he wanted to he would. Maybe he doesn't want to because you are his sisters friend and he would find it awkward.
It is possible he didn't like you, and it is also possible he did like you, all I can see now though is he is not making an effort so you should move on and look for someone else.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not just eye-contact. I mentioned the "goodbye" thing,we held hands much longer than someone would do. Then there was a time when he got in front of me and my friend that was behind me,said that his friends pushed him in front of me. Also many times he came near me touched me with his arm or things like this. So its not that i gave in so easily,i didnt wanna accept it but everyday things happened that why i started liking him. So u think i should move on now since we've finished school and so?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2018): [EDIT]:
"Come on, my dear, how long do you think he can go on with this eye-contact thing?"
"There is also such thing as liking you, but not having any romantic-interest beyond friendliness."
Your friend put in a good-word for you with her brother. That gave him an opening. He didn't take it. Not because he doesn't like you anymore; but he may have never liked you in that way, and for the other reasons I mentioned.
Now let it rest.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2018): I think you have a very hard crush on him and you let your imagination runaway with you. If you stare at someone; they will usually stare back. He is familiar with you through his sister and may only find you pretty; but not necessarily his type.
Come on, my dear, how long do you think he can do on with this eye-contact thing? He's old enough to speak-up if he was interested. There is also so such thing as liking you but not having any romantic-interest beyond friendliness.
Sometimes guys don't mess with their sister's or brother's friends; because we don't want to ruin their friendship, if things don't workout. We also don't want our sisters/brothers used as spies or go-betweens; or have to choose sides in disagreements.
He might like you as you say; but he doesn't seem to want to cross the line. You are his sister's friend, and maybe that should do for now.
...............................
|