I like my friend, I don't like his uncle tagging along

A female age , anonymous writes:

Ok, so I have a male neighbor, younger than me, that I have been spending a lot of time with since I moved up the street 6 months ago. Before I became a neighbor, we were casual friends, as he brings his grandmother into the beauty shop where I work. So far we are just really good friends and hang out every week and spend a lot of happy time together. He lives with his grandmother because she is 85 and he has to do her shopping, take her to doctors, etc. His grandmother's son, who is his his Uncle, let's just call him J, comes down from another state to visit here and there for a couple weeks at a time. Uncle J is unemployed, is on several anti-depressant and sedative drugs, and talks constantly and loudly. Grandma has the same problem. When I go to my friend's home to visit, (let's call him W), the grandma and Uncle argue over who ate the last donut, who owes who money, etc. I can deal with this, as he is only here once in a while. But now, the Uncle has moved in with his Ma (Grandma) for good, and everytime W and I go to hang out, take a walk, go to the store, etc., the Uncle tags along. He just makes me cringe as he is so loud and never stops talking. Last week W and I had to sneak away so that he could come up to my place and help me take out my window a/c and put it up, and when we went back to W's, the uncle pouted because we left him behind. My apartment is not even big enough for 2, let alone 3. Uncle J went and bought an old truck and expects W to spend all of his off days every week helping him work on it, even though Uncle has no driver's license due to 2 DUI's. The straw that broke was last night when I asked W if I could go to the store with him because I was having an allergy attack and took a benadryl and was afraid to drive, and when W pulled up, Uncle was in the car too, and made me climb into the back of the car, followed me all over the store asking me to give him guitar lessons and talking about what happened to him in 5th grade, etc, and basically never shutting up. W and I never get to have a private conversation any more, and I have been patient about not being demanding. when W told me last night that he could only come up in the morning to help me fix something, because he was spending the 3rd day in a row helping his Uncle work on a truck he can't even drive, I just told him not to worry about it, because that was my only day off and I wanted to sleep in because I was very tired, and I knew Uncle would be with him also. And last night W did not even help me tote my groceries in and make sure I was in safe like he normally does. I understand that he needs to help family, but on top of helping his grandma, now his Uncle is monopolizing his time and he seems unable to set any boundaries with them. Do I just throw up my hands and walk away, or how do I tell him I enjoy just me and him spending time, without his Uncle? His Uncle just frays my nerves.

View related questions: drugs, grandmother, money, moved in

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A female reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 September 2012):

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 September 2012):

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