A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts.Im 21 and i never had a boyfriend! It's starting to get to me now. When i was in high school i didn't mind. I didn't even go to prom but i was fine with that, i still did other fun things. But now its like will i ever get 1? Nobody understand what i mean, they always say your prince charming will come soon or just be patient or when you stop looking he will find you. I don't believe in that stuff anymore because usually the people who say that have boyfriends/girlfriends. Or they will tell me you don't want a boyfriend, look what i go thru ect... Ok and? Where 2 different people!!!!! Im not a virgin, i had sex with 1 guy but that was a year ago, i don't regret it. I was too curious about sex. Me and the guy get alone great :) but i didn't want to continue to have sex with him because i rather have a boyfriend to call my own. But when Im not in school or working and my friends are out with their boyfriends, i feel like what's wrong me? When will i go on dates? When will a guy ask me to be his girlfriend? Sometimes i feel like i have bad luck with guys or maybe Im not meant to have a relationship, like Im meant to just listen to all my friends talk about how happy they are. Dating for me is horrible!!!!!!! I only attract guys who want sex. Its so annoying! I tell them I want a relationship and they disappear. Or they will keep asking me for sex until i disappear. I don't dress wild, very much classy and cute. Im a nice looking young lady :) not trying to be stuck up But alot of people tell me Im very pretty and funny. But Im starting not to agree much longer. Online dating scares me lol. Im to scared to met the guy in pubic? Im weird like that or I've heard 1 to many bad stories. And if Im attracted to a guy he's in another state. I just don't want to be single for my whole life. Or just listen to the couples that tell me to keep waiting? Sorry if it's long Im just frustrated ugh i thought dating was fun? Boy was i wrong! Any advice????
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I was pretty much the same way as you when I was your age. I didn't have a girlfriend until well after college. I was shy and I also didn't want the drama that accompanied a relationship. Also, I found many of the woman not on the same maturity level.
Sadly, most guys your age want sex or expect sex after a short amount of time. Some guys are willing to wait until marriage (but most don't). Sex is a very big step in a relationship and it sounds like you are more mature than the average 18 - 21 year old. Hold onto your standards -- they are what define you and give you character.
I would like to tell you don't be discouraged. Make sure you are doing things that will help you meet good-natured people. If you are looking for serious relationships in bars / clubs, you are going to have a harder time. Join a gym, get involved in a sports activity (there are tons of singles training for half-marathons / marathons and races for instance) or attend college. Get involved with community activities or social activities. Enlist your friends to help out in your search.
Also consider joining a dating site. You'll be able to express exactly what you are looking for and that will hopefully weed out the players.
Finally, enjoy this period in your life. You aren't the only one who hasn't had a boyfriend. This is a time in your life where you have a LOT of freedom. You can try new things, explore the world, and you have tons of options. Take advantage of them! ... live life to the fullest. Don't leave anything behind you'll regret not doing. Take stock of your life and ask yourself where you want to be 5 - 10 years down the road and what will make YOU happy.
Hopefully I've given you some insight from someone who was once in your position. Life does get better and the right guy will come along when you least expect it. Trust me on that one.
Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): Now is the perfect time to work on yourself. Start working out, continue educating yourself and get self-actualized. Dating, in my humble opinion, isnot fun, unless it is a mutual attraction.
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