A
female
age
36-40,
*ozopink
writes:i live with my boyfriend of over year we have five kids between us 3 are his 2 are mine.after about three months of us going out i met his friend i instantly started to like him but ignored my feelings as i thought they would fizzle out and i did not want to hurt anybody its now been a year since i met him he has a partner now and has just had a baby with her but she did tell me that they don't get on to well at first and that he did not want kids. but i suppose that is irrelevant.my boyfriends mate is always round the house for some reason or other i just can't stand to see him anymore i was sure he had the same feelings for him as he was always round my house and doing things with me and my boyfriend. so in the car the other day i told him i had strange feelings for him he just kinda laughed and said i should not be thinking things like that and that he did not know what to say. then when we got back he invited himself in for a coffee with my boyfrfiend and never said a thing just carried on as normal i really don't know what to think of him anymore surely if he had liked me he would of said so but then why would he continue to be round our house all the time does he come round just to see his mate i don't know what to think please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, luvme247  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 The relationship will not work out with your boyfriends friend. When you told him you were interested, his responce to you was perfect... You should not be thinking things like that. He is your boyfriends friend and he is spoken for. He is a strong man for not saying anything to your boyfriend about your conversation with him. If you want to continue your relationship with your boyfriend, then you have to forget that you ever had that conversation with him and learn how to change those love feelings that you have for him into friendship feelings, as he is going to continue to be a part of your boyfriends life. He is a good friend to your boyfriend and you have to respect that. If you are unhappy in your relationship, then break it off. You don't need to have a new boyfriend lined up to leave someone. If you are not happy, you know where the door is. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Honestly girl you have got to reign in that ego a bit as all this thinking could get you into a whole lot of trouble and heart-ache. It sounds like this guy is a good friend of your boyfriend's and that is why he spends time at your place just hanging out. He maybe not in a perfect relationship with his girlfriend but they have a baby together and everyone goes through good and bad times. What do you hope to get out of this? Whatever the outcome - someone will get hurt and it sounds like your partner's friend is a good man - he didn't react to your proposition. Imagine you two got together - your partner would be very hurt and betrayed by the pair of you. If your boyfriends pal lacked integrity and did run off with you and leave his girlfriend with a baby then he wouldn't be bargain of the year. If he left that situation and abandoned his friendship with your partner then he would be likely to leave you at some stage and wander elsewhere. Whether he likes you or not is irrelevant here. What you have to focus on is why you would contemplate starting anything with him? If you are having problems with your boyfriend then try to fix them or leave the relationship if you make each other that miserable that you would contemplate his mate. What you also have to think about is the possibility that you are a bit jealous of the friendship your boyfriend shares with this man. Perhaps when his friend comes around you don't get much attention and you find it comforting to imagine he is really there for you, and not your boyfriend.
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