A
male
age
30-35,
*or-El85
writes:I'm in college now and as my title asks, does my Bio-Lab partner like me?I'm very confused.I like her a lot(my college friends say I LOVE her)she a very sweet and gentle person from what I can tell. We would meet at the campus library often(not so much now because she's a Bio major and I'm undeclared, which means she has a heavier work-load then I do). We have Bio on Tuesday and Thursday and when class is over I walk her to her room. To me she's very beautiful and I call her so every time we talk. Actually it ends most of our conversations. We talk and before I depart I call her beautiful, she blushes or smiles, we shake hands and I walk away. I've tried to overlook her blushing because don't most woman blush when they're complimented? She's very smart as well which is her most appealing feature. I like this young woman very much and I wanna tell her how I feel, but I want some insight into her feelings before I do.Advice is most appreciated. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Rather than go in for the kiss, I would suggest you try to hold her hand as you walk her home. But pay attention! She'll either be happy to have you holding her hand, which is just about as non-threatening an indication you like her as you could come up with, or she'll be uncomfortable. If she's uncomfortable, she'll figure out a way to get you to let go of her hand. That will tell you if she might be interested in you or not.
From what you've described, you've made it pretty clear you like her. Now you have a choice, give her a chance to show it back--by holding hands, not with a kiss, that's far too much from what you've written here--or wait and let her take the next step.
Or ask her out for coffee and see if she accepts. At some point, alas, we have to put our feelings out there and risk rejection. Faint heart never won fair maiden, right?
I don't know this girl, so I can't tell you if she's interested but shy or if she's not interested but is being polite. You'll have to do some honest evaluation of her social cues to you and you can move things along with the hand-holding thing.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Sorry Theoir, but coming from a female we don't want to be kissed off guard. No it's not sexy.That's not romantic, like in the movies. You can't just go and kiss a girl and see if she likes you. It doesn't work like that. How many times has it worked for you?
Especially smooching a shy girl, it's going to turn awkward real quick..That's her bubble, her comfort zone. If he works the physical contact up to an embrace he's breaking into her bubble. Once he's in then he can work in a kiss. You can't just go in for the kill and get a kiss..He will get rejected.
...............................
A
male
reader, Theoir  +, writes (20 October 2010):
Of course, playing it safe appeals to people, because no guy wants to get rejected or embarrass himself by asking out or kissing a girl who has a boyfriend.
Although, if you play it safe, she may not realize that it's a romantic meet-up. From her point of view, it could be entirely platonic. Especially, if she's shy. She may not be bold enough to allow romantic thoughts without extremely clear indicators of interest - and even those she may dismiss as misinterpreted.
If you ask her out, make explicit mention of it being a date. Chances are, she won't know otherwise and you won't accomplish what you wanted.
If she agrees on going to a -date- with you, then don't forget to initiate physical contact.
I wouldn't hug her, though. There's almost no reason to, and social situations where hugs become viable as a form of valediction are rather rare.
Somehow hugging seems desperate. Kissing, on the other hand, indicates a risk-taking behavior which is quite sexy. If she doesn't like you that way, she'll make it clear, and you haven't lost anything - not even valuable time spent with getting to know her closer.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 October 2010):
From your post alone, it sounds like she's shy and there's a possibility she's into you. Now the blushing, that could be embarrassment from the compliments..or flattery.
Don't go in for a kiss, that will make things a little awkward especially since she's the shy type. If you do go for a little physical contact, I would go for a hug instead, shaking hands seems way too formal. Reminds me of a job interview, or meeting your future in laws for the first time..(also like an interrogation)
Another angle to consider is what if you tell her you like her, and she doesn't reciprocate or worse yet has a boyfriend. Talk about awkward next time you go into Lab..it's not like you could switch partners when you're halfway through the fall semester.
So how do you get the girl or make a move that's right? Start by getting to know her outside Lab and the campus library..in there it's just school talk. Go outside the comfort zone, got a Panera Bread around there? Or a Starbucks? Ask her if she would want to go get a coffee one evening, and don't bring homework. Or if she would want to do a light dinner at a Bistro..like a casual date. Get to know her, and vice versa. Start it off as getting closer, then I say once Lab is over officially ask her out. That way you avoid any potential awkwardness. Play it safe.
...............................
A
male
reader, Theoir +, writes (20 October 2010):
Adding to dirtball's reply, I would go for a kiss in a good, more intimate moment. Don't let that chance go unexplored.
It's better to be rejected than to remain in a state of ignorance for a lifetime, not knowing whether she would've liked you.
Plus, your chances seem to be in your favor. She obviously likes you.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 October 2010):
 It would make things so much easier if we could just know what they were thinking sometimes wouldn't it? The truth is, we don't know. We can't know. All we know is that she blushes when you compliment her and she hasn't cut off contact with you because you make her feel uncomfortable...
If you like her, tell her. Don't hint, just tell her. She may like you, or may not feel the same, but you'll never know unless you try. The longer you wait, the larger chance there is that someone else will snatch her up! Tell her what you're feeling, or at least ask her out on a date. Something where you aren't studying together.
...............................
|
