A
male
age
30-35,
*onfusedd.
writes:Okay, this might be quite lengthy but please try to bear with me, I'm really confused and desperately need some advice! :/ I'm male, 16, from the UK. And there's this guy.He's just perfect... he's funny, witty and so god damn sexy. He's roman gypsy heritage and it shows in his alluringly crooked features. I've got to admit that's part of the charm ^^ Two problems:1) Nobody yet knows I'm bisexual.2) He's already dating one of my best friends.But we get along so well! First time we met was quite by accident, I just bumped into the two of them together in town and joined them, and we just got talking so easily, always smiling and laughing. Apparently he told her afterwards that he thought we really clicked together - which we so did - and he kept going on about me too. She then made a semi-serious joke about me stealing him away from her, which I of course laughed off.Anyway, usually I would have just dismissed something like this but last night for New Year's Eve the girl was having a small gathering at her house, just us 3 + another girl we're friends with.Anyway, we semi-flirted all night - but not in an obvious way - although he was still being quite cosy with her, plus there were quite a few times where he kind of caught me staring at him and smiled (trust me, if you saw him you'd see it's pretty hard not to.)It was a great night.Then later, once we went to bed it was boys on the floor and girls on the bed. I was just lying there, thinking myself to be the only one awake when he shifted and accidently brushed against me, or so I thought at the time. A couple of minutes later I felt his hand just slowly rubbing up my leg. It was so hot. After a while I started doing the same to him. However, we obviously had to be really careful in case either of them were awake and watching. I got really confused whether or not he was actually doing it on purpose as well, or if it was just by accident (I know it sounds weird but you had to be there, it's sort of hard to explain).Especially because at one point he whispered something like "Hello" randomly, as in "Hey, why are are you doing that?", so I then stopped, embarassed. But he then made a sleep gesture (two hands together) to me, which I thought at the time meant just lie down since he carried on after that but when I tried to do the same to him again he moved away, so I stopped. He then coughed and I looked up questioningly. I couldn't see him too clearly but he shook his head, and then put his finger to his lips (E.G: Stop now, and don't say anything about it to her either), or at least that's what I think he meant. I nodded and rolled over.Anyhow, today when I woke up he didn't say a word about it. I might have even ended up convincing myself I'd imagined it if it wasn't for the eye contact we shared. He didn't mention a thing, even when we were in the room alone together for a minute.Thing is, he's already out as Bi so it's not that at least. I just feel so guilty - he's my best friend's boyfriend. I know I didn't really do anything but still... I want to. Incidentally, the girl and I have had quite a serious relationship in the past, if that's relevant, but we're just friends now. I wouldn't want to do anything to betray her.Besides, he's not going to be interested anyway. We weren't drunk or anything, but maybe he just did it for the hell of it and hasn't even thought about it since. I won't bore you with the long list list of reasons exactly why nobody would want to be in a relationship with me, but trust me, I'm not desirable.He, on the other hand, is gorgeous, funny, smart and just brilliant. Also, I haven't come out yet so he's not going to want to be in a relationship with someone too ashamed to even say they want to be with him. Plus, he's had loads of sexual experience whereas I'm still a virgin (me and the girl did everything but full sex when we were going out.)But even so, I feel like I should do something, or say something. I don't think he'll tell, and even if he did I could easily rebuke it, but I really want to know if this means something? Also, he's kind of cheating on her so surely I should speak up? (not that I can really talk about betraying her trust :/) Possibly he's just after sex and nothing else, which actually as evil as it would be to my friend I'm not sure I'd say no to! I'm just a horrible person. I need to speak to him, don't I? But where to start? I'm just so damn confused, I really need to hear you would do in my situation. Thanks for your help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (2 January 2011):
 its simple- he is with your friend. stop thinking about him and try to find someone who is available. you are only wasting your time.
also why are you so negative about yourself? maybe if you start to look for the good things about yourself you will attract someone who is going to be good for you.
this guy is a charmer- it means little
people are attracted to confident individuals who value themselves, learn how to value yourself and good things will come to you
A
female
reader, Tarawr  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 It's really quite simple. He has a girlfriend, which makes him off-limits. Unless the girl is into sharing. Other than that, keep your hands off of him and your comments to yourself. Would you want someone trying to "steal away" a guy/girl that you care about?
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