A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've known this girl for just less than a year now. We spoke over msn for months and we became really close and met for the first time about a month ago. I met her in person for the first time about a month ago. She'd been going out with a guy i know for a while but she broke up with him 2 weeks ago and they tried again but it didn't work. I've had such strong feelings for her ever since i spoke to her, our personalities match brilliantly and i was somewhat sceptical that maybe it wouldn't be the same when we met but it was great and we've met up everytime we can since then. I've really developed feelings even greater now that i've met her, today we met up alone and she was speaking about her relationship and how she knows that she can trust me alot, she doesn't like how a load of lads have come onto her facebook since she's been single and doesn't think she can get into a relationship for a long time. I've not told her how i feel at all and i know that i shouldn't for a while, she seems to want a friend now and she keeps bringing up that i'm a good friend, i don't know if she'd like me back when i told her. what should i do? because i don't want to tell her too late in case she develops feelings for someone else instead but at the same time i don't wanna say something too soon...and i'm not sure if she'd like me back, it's just that we get on sooooooooo well and that whenever i think of a relationship lasting with someone it's only her i can imagine being with...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): She is 80 (like me). Invalid husband probably won't last long. There was instant attraction and I was invited (and enjoyed) seeing her superbly furnished apartment. Because I did not want to interfere with her decades long marriage, I avoided her for months. A month ago accidentally ran into her and I was not at all warm (maybe she even feels like a woman scorned). Years ago I enjoyed a few married ladies but eventually broke it off (I did not like to see the hurt look in husband's eyes). Recently got educated in how to be a fantastic lover (theory, not practice) and I believe we can have such good sex that intense love will follow -- a decade of "golden years". Am I silly to avoid her and let her think I do not care for her?
A
female
reader, Miss. Courtney  +, writes (21 November 2009):
Ok she obviously had feelings for the guy if thhey were going back n forth like that so she needs her time to just get over him, figure things out, and figure out who she is on her own and what she wants.. Its a process so be patient. but she knew what she was doing when she told u she didnt think she could handle a relationship right now.. u have either fell into the friend zone and ur keeping her occupied from having to deal with whats going on in her head, she was testing u to see what ud say (unlikely) or she knows u like her and she doesnt need that kind of pressure bc even if she does like u, she isnt ready yet.. Be patient bc she needs a friend right now not another guy trying to come at her.. If u cant stand it, joke about it next time she talks serious about guys trying to hit on her or about her ex.. just cut her off and say look, I am just gonna have to be ur knight and
shinging armor- heres what im gonna do, im gonna kidnap u for the night so get dressed ill be there in 30 mins.. hang up! no time to let her think or make excuses and go over there and take her to out to a big city or somewhere fun.. the point is, she will appreciate everything ur doing if ur doing it without a secret motive so absolutely do not have a serious talk with her about ur feelings or sit around thinking about it to too much to where she can tell bc u will ruin it.. even if she starts to talk, buy her a drink.. You will both get alot from it but most importantly, if she does feel anything for u in that way, then she will definately start to look more into it.. Girls need an aggressive, funny, sweet man.. getting sappy with expressing ur emotions will make it awkward for both of yall so just ride it out and if ur feelings get too u cant take it then back off for a little while bc maybe its just on ur mind too much bc ur spending too much time with her..
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (21 November 2009):
 You're doing the right thing. For a chance to be with her in the future just keep doing what you're doing. Be there for her, be a "good friend" and let your relationship grow.
Her feelings for you could develop as you get to know each other better. Just make sure she knows she has you and one day, you never know. You're right to give her time. Say anything too quickly and she might think you're like all the other guys on Facebook.
Good Luck. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009): You're right, telling her now is not the best time, she definitely needs a friend.
Give it some more time until you see and feel like she's moving on.
See her more and if you feel like she's warming up more to you, find a moment that feels right and just tell her how you feel....tell her how much you think your friendship has blossomed and that you feel something more for her...
Remember though it could go either way, you need to make sure that if it doesn't go to plan that she won't back away from you as a friend..
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