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age
36-40,
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writes: OK so I'm 21 and go to university. There is this girl who I'm absolutely crazy about, she's 21 too. Big, big problem though, she has a boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't even think of trying to mess up their relationship but I'm not convinced she wants to be with him. They are a very on-off couple and a couple of months ago he dumped her by text, which I think is really thoughtless considering they'd been going out for 18 months and I couldn't believe it when they got back together. She once came up to me in a club and said she wanted to get with this other guy, so you would think she ain't really happy with him.Over the last few months I've really gotten to know her well, mainly through chatting online and a few times in person and I think she is amazing. She is just so nice, and so genuine and someone I could imagine being with her for the rest of my life. I've got a feeling she likes me too because on top of what she said to me in the club she even asked a completely random question online just to start a conversation with me. I dare say I'm in love with her. I asked her if she was happy being with her boyfriend and she said she was because he gives her companionship whilst she is at uni, even though he lives a few hundred miles away! I felt like saying I could be the one who gives her companionship but kinda bottled it. What do you think? I know I will see her again in a few weeks, should I just tell her how I feel? Or how can I at least just drop subtle hints?
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male
reader, Thecutehelper  +, writes (4 April 2010):
I totally know what you mean. It's a right pain in the arse. I am younger than you but have the same annoying problem. I found a solution that might help try to leave a bit of distance between the two of you, not so much as ignoring her but take a step back because she might feel a bit aukward if you two become best friends, because let's be frank us guys can't really settle for the just friends nothing more with a cute girl. Because sooner or later she come to you as a friend and you are gonna have to comfort her and it's gonna make asking her out about 10 times harder. So I suggest after this long reply that you move on find and another girl to love cause I think she might just be keeping you on the hook. Good luck mate, hope I helped
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 April 2010):
Her on/off relationship means she's confused. You do not want a woman who is confused, because she may well give him up for you, then suddenly decide to go back to him. Yes, she's nice. Yes, she's amazing, genuine and all the rest of it. But she has a boyfriend, and is totally confused about how she feels. Avoid, or you'll end up as some sort of go between or rebound who she uses to get at this other guy. When she's dumped him and is over him (if that ever happens), then you can decide whether you want to see if she's interested. Until then, leave her well alone.
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