A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have met a lovely girl at work who i now cant stop thinking about, we have had a good first few dates, she even made the first move! but our daily rapor is very bad, she hardly ever replies to my texts, and when she does, they are never on time. to make things worse she misses days off work and plans of ours to then text later with hard to believe, yet not the type of things you would make up excusesmy father says i am wasting my time as she prefers older guys, her last bf was 6 yrs older @ 17! i felt very intimidated by this with us both now being 18it is very frustrating because i cant stop thinking about her but dont want to seem as if im coming on too strong, what should i do?
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female
reader, Cole9292  +, writes (16 May 2007):
if she liked you, she would see you. end of story. i hate to be harsh, but if she really liked you and knew you wanted to see her, she would make plans with you. she is trying to avoid you but isn't strong enough to tell you that she isn't interested. and a good life lesson to take from this is that you never date people you work with, no matter what. ever.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 She made the first moves, and went on a few dates with you, so we KNOW she was into you at first. (So what your father says about older guys is meaningly). My guess is that somewhere along the way, you behaved in a manner that over your few dates made her feel more like she had to be a mother to you, than to get to be a lover with you. If she was interested, SHE WOULD BE WITH YOU. I think she just doesn't come right out and say it becuase she is afraid to hurt your feelings.
Usually women like older guys becuase older guys are more sure of themselves, and do not get intimiated like you did about past boyfriends. It does not sound like you were dominant enough for her. I mean, after she made the first moves, did you TAKE OVER, or just continue to make her always responsible for making the first moves?
I think you need to find someone else that is more your pace.
-FBK
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (16 May 2007):
 I have 2 different explanations for her actions: (1) she's pretty immature and doesn't take other people into consideration, in which case you shouldn't get into a relationship with her, or (2) she's just not that into you, in which case you shouldn't get into a relationship with her.
If you were important to her, she'd be working at being with you, rather than letting your plans slip (for whatever reason). Move on with your life; you're better off without her.
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A
female
reader, missprinsess2u +, writes (16 May 2007):
 confront her in person, maybe she is scared of commitment, i use to go out with older guys it was hard for me to fall bak on my age but confront her tell her u need to speak to her if she acts immature forget about her she is just immature and you need to find someone who can act mature and deal with whats going on not run away
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): sounds like she is certainly too mature to use texts. just talk to her like an adult
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