A
male
age
26-29,
*erry17
writes:So for almost a year, I have gotten close with a girl where she says she doesn't like me, but everyone else that knows us says she does. We live nearby and I'm a senior and she's a sophomore. We used to talk almost everyday. She gave signals that she likes me all the time. We stopped talking a few times because of he say/she say stuff, but we kind of dropped that. After more people and even her own sister told me that the girl likes me, she told me she didn't like me like that, but that she wanted to be friends. So I accepted being friends. As we stayed friends, in a few months, we began having deep conversations about our lives. She had a boyfriend who made her mad alot, but she continued to stay with him. And I felt she treated others, especially her bf, better than me. She even went MIA during some of christmas break. I ending up realizing I had fallen in love with her and b/c I was jealous, I tried to make her jealous. Now previously, I've told her how I have to defend her whenever my friends say something bad about her. So when we finally started back talking during the break, I told her that I didn't know what to do because my friends don't want me involved with her. She got mad at me and we stopped talking. And while I was trying to send it someone else, I accidentally sent her a screenshot of our messages. I didn't do it to hurt her or lose her trust. I did it because I needed help as I was kind of confused on why she got mad in the first place. After that, I left her alone for almost a month until my birthday. I tried to talk to her but she told me to just move on. I told her to have a nice life and she did the same. But we still talked at least once every month after that, where I mostly initiated conversations. Eventually we sort of became friends again and I told her how I feel about everything and how I tried to make her jealous. She told me she doesn't like me like that. I told her I accept that. We had a short convo, but we stopped. After a few more tries of trying to talk to her, I just stopped and realized I will never regain her trust.After seeing that she is happy and with someone, I finally unfollowed her on Instagram and blocked her on Kik because it was hard for me to handle anymore. But a few weeks later, I followed her again and unblocked her. Within a minute, she accepted and followed me too. I've unfollowed and re-followed her a few times before so I didn't think she would do it again. I just didn't like how every relationship she was committed in, they would break up soon. I feel that she deserves the best and I want her to be happy.I'm just sort of confused about my feelings now. I've been writing a book and I have a situation in it that is similar to this one so it brings up feelings. I don't know what to do anymore. I've kind of moved on, but she still has a place in my heart. What do I do about my feelings though?
View related questions:
christmas, jealous, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2014):
 How are things now?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2014): You'll figure out how to handle it. Your feelings will eventually change. Enjoy your friends and ignore the questions about her.
It hasn't really been that long, so you have to give yourself a little more time. Just go about your life as you normally do, and you'll see it will just fade to the back of your mind like nothing.
Sometimes it takes being more mature, and learning to control feelings that get out of hand. It may not be easy, but it is a part of becoming an adult.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jerry17 +, writes (28 July 2014):
Jerry17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am moving on but it's really hard because me and her have many mutual friends and anytime I'm talking to a friend, the girl's name comes into the conversation. And then there's the weird tension whenever we're near each other or with mutual friends. It's so bad that most of our friends say something about the tension.
I'm still going to continue moving on, but what do I do about my friends and the crazy tension?
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (18 July 2014):
The story in the book is not bringing up old feelings, you are writing it similar because you have not dealt with them old feelings, you can fool yourself that you are over her, but you are not. Yes you might have moved on more than you had at the start but you still love this girl and you are struggling to let her go. I understand that you want her to be happy really I do but she does not want you to be the one to make her happy, if she had wanted you then she would have been with you. She has not led you on as she has been honest with you. The kindest thing you can do for yourself is block her and do not unblock her. Move forward with your life. Talk to other girls and get out dating, good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): You ride the feelings out until the finally fade away. She has told you time and time again she doesn't like you in a romantic way, she likes you as a friend.
It is important that you learn how to accept rejection; and understand that with some girls, you will only be friends.
If someone doesn't return the same feelings you have for them, you have the choice not to have anything more to do with them. If you end it once and for all, the feelings you have for her will have a chance to go away.
She likes dangling you on a string; because she knows how much you like her. She still sees other boys, but likes you around to boost her ego. It's time to stop, and move on like she suggested. Delete her from everything, and just be polite when you see her around.
...............................
|
