A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been going out with this guy for 3 years now...but for the past year we have been falling out and things aren't what they used to be....he's very jealous and sometimes controlling but on the other hand he can be so sweet and fun...lately I like someone else and we've been talking but nothing else because I don't wanna do anything to hurt my boyfriend. I really like this other guy but don't wanna throw 3 years together away even if the relationship isn't the best.I dunno what to do cuz I wanna have fun and not have to be tied down for so long but I also like being with my boyfriend and find it hard to break up....help
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female
reader, growing up  +, writes (13 April 2009):
just ask your bf for some time out tell him that you need to be on your own for now and need him to give you that opportunity to sort things out.. say that maybe for now if he can handle it you can just be friends.. and go from there
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (13 April 2009):
 "I really like this other guy but don't wanna throw 3 years together away even if the relationship isn't the best."
You are so young, you would actually be throwing away your time if you stayed with someone you didn't have strong feelings for anymore, and who treated you as he does.
Make the most of your youth and follow your heart. There is no sense in staying in a relationship because of your investment of time when you are as young as you are. You aren't doing anyone a favor by staying in a dead relationship, especially with someone who is controlling (which in my experience leads to forms of abuse).
Even if you don't end up with the other guy, break things off with your BF and see where the road takes you.
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A
male
reader, jchevy1791 +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I'd say if you don't want to break up with your boyfriend talk to him about the problems between you and him. If there aren't any changes don't waste your time go for the other guy. By staying with him you'd be living a lie. It will be harder to break up with him the longer your with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Wow.. It's almost like you're me.. I too had a bf for three years and found it hard to break up with because he was fun to be around and could be sooo sweet but we had had a lot of problems too. And then i met someone and i really liked him and we just talked and that was it.. But what i had to realize was that as soon as i really liked that guy, i WAS doing something to really hurt my boyfriend. The longer you drag him along for the ride, the more hurt he's going to be in the end. Don't tell him about the guy you like, but you really need to end it. You're emotinally cheating on him and i know it sucks because you really can't help the way you feel. But i believe that if you're meant to be with someone, then there is no room in your heart for anyone else. Not even the tiniest crush. If you don't believe you're going to be with this guy forever, then what you're doing right now is wasting his time and you're time. You need to not think about him... You have to think about yourself and what would make you happy and as hard as it is for you to do somethign that you think will hurt him, you HAVE to do what's best for you. So just fot a while, don't worry about what he's feeling, because if you're anythign like me, then that's mostly what's keeping you from breaking up with him. You may also be being a little selfish.. you don't want to hurt him but you don't want to feel the way you know you'll feel after you hurt him.. To summarize.. the longer you drag it on.. the more it hurts him. Let the poor guy go so he can get over you and still have a life left.
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