A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE take time to read this...and help me if you can...Basically, I'm a 20 year old girl and for about 3 years now I've been completly besotted by another woman... She's 32 and single, but I don't know what her sexual orientation is. I posted a comment before and was told that if she wasn't open at 32 about her sexual preference, then she mustn't be a lesbian. I don't agree... I do know that she comes from a family that may not accept her if she were to be open. They would be pretty "old fashioned" and would possibly feel it was a "shame" on the family.I'm just so confused... I'm completly in love with this person, but because she's female also, it makes it so much harder. I mean if this was a guy, I could flirt and do all the normal things a girl does when she fancies a guy, but how could I try it on with a woman?! Plus I could be so wrong in thinking that she thinks of me any more than just a pal.Things that have led me to believe she may be interested is the way she usually asks about my love life and if I'm seeing anyone... At one stage I was with a guy very short-term and she didn't seem to like him at all... She was happy when I said we had split up and things hadn't worked out. Of course when the subject arises about men, I always ask her if she's found anyone....she always replies something like "haven't time for that" or "too much energy" etc.I take it up as in she's not interested that way???? Why would she refuse point blank that she's not bothered when all her mates are married or in steady relationships....she's the only one who is single.Going back over things in my mind, she always used to wink at me and smile alot and laugh at things I'd say or do. Little things like that just make me feel a little more special to her....but be honest, am I just hoping that perhaps I mean anything to her??Basically, I'd really really appreciate any advice or opinions on the matter. It really is getting to a point that I'm not coping all that well, because it's playing on my mind 24/7.PLEASE HELP XXX
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Hi,
Rather than asking her outright, which is the only way you would know for sure.
Have you thought about telling her that you are sick of men, and are not sure about your own sexuality. Just to see how she reacts. If she laughs at you, you can just say you were joking.
Good luck XX
A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (12 November 2007):
Poor you. I agree with mistify that you must ask her. If it's eating away at you this much you have to get some answers or it will drive you crazy.I hope you get the answer you want!!Good luck
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Hi there
It must be terrible not knowing.
I haven't read your other posts, but have a question.
Have you ever asked her?
Have you asked her if she likes guys, or girls?
One way for you to find out, is to spend more time with her. Talk about your previous relationships, and then ask her about her's. You'd be able to tell from her previous relationships (partners) if she is in fact a lesbian.
If her history still doesn't give you a clear answer, i think you need to own up. She deserves to know how you feel. If she has any inclinations, then this would be the time she will show it to you.
If not, then she will probably tell you that she's into MEN, and then at least you'll have your answer.
Hope this helps. Let me know how it goes?
Good luck
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