A
male
age
36-40,
*oboaxe
writes:It all started at a friends script reading party late December 2013. I met a girl there and we hit it off pretty well. We ended up talking for about an hour and she asked me to come to her play, I said I would and got her phone number. I called her two days later, she picked up, and after a brief conversation, I asked if she'd like to meet up, and she said she would, but was very busy the rest of the year due to the holidays, but she said we could meet up in 2014. I went home for the holidays (which is abroad), but due to complications in a wisdom tooth extraction, had to stay an entire month extra at home. I arrived in February and I gave her a call. She didn't pick up. I sent her a text "Hey ____! It's ____ from the reading. Finally got back from home. How have you been?"She did not reply. A week later, on a Monday, I decided to give her one more call again. She answered. I told her about my tooth, we talked a little, and then she asked if we could meet up for coffee. Now here is where I know now I made a mistake. I said I don't like coffee, and if it's okay if we meet up for drinks instead. She said that could work, but her schedule is very busy that week. I then decided to blurt out that coffee or drinks doesn't matter, I'd just like to see her again. Again she reiterated that she had a busy week and couldn't know for sure. I talked a little about something else, and then I said I'd give her a call later in the week to see how things were. She said we'd talk later. I was planning on calling her on Thursday, but then realized that that is one day before Valentines, and I didn't want to scare her off and make her think I wanted a valentines day date to be our first date. So I decided to call her on Sunday, today, instead. I called around 8:00 PM, she didn't pick up and I didn't leave a message or send a text. You now have all the details. I do think we clicked well. She is the one who invited me to her play, and she is the one who asked me out. I like her, but now I worry I may have put myself in a shitty situation by denying coffee like that. So my question is, what should my next move be? Wait and do nothing? Wait a week and then call/text? Was possibly thinking of sending a "Hey! What are you up to this week?" text at some point. Or should I accept that it is over? She is also around my same age. Thank you for any help or perspective, it is much appreciated. I hope you have an awesome day.
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male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (17 June 2014):
Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the advice! Here is the thrilling conclusion:
So I texted back a few weeks later, and she let me know she was visiting Europe and "met up with the guy [she's] been seeing." I asked what she was up to the next few days, she replied, and I suggested we catch up over a drink to which she never replied.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 February 2014):
 She asked you for coffee... she's interested.
I doubt you blew it by saying you don't do coffee (you could have tea or soda at the coffee place since most places have things OTHER than coffee too)
BUT she's made it clear she's very busy... so I wonder even if you do manage to make a date with her, will her very busy life keep her from being the attentive partner you wish?
Call her today and see what's up for the weekend... if she blows you off again you can say "I would love to get together with you very soon, how about you call me when you are ready." and then you've made the best effort you can and you've left the ball in her court.
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A
female
reader, wishfulsoul  +, writes (17 February 2014):
Perhaps you could leave it open to her, text her to say you tried to ring, and for her to give you a text or call when she's free to meet up. If she's interested she will text or call you, simple, just be patient, too much phone calls and texts might make her think your a bit obsessive, so just wait, if you don't hear off her she probably won't be interested.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2014): This is kind of happenening to me right now, I am the person who is being pursued, and the gentleman is a good guy, but I am not ready for a relationship right now I am being just friendly with him and he has taken it the wrong way. So I really try to postpone seeing him. This is what I think this person is doing to you. The fact that she invited you to her play, doesn't mean a thing, could of been a friendly gesture she does to all her friends. If she's interested she will let you know later. You sound like a great guy, things will happen for you in time. Goodluck and take care Bello :)
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