A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I have to admit I am attracted to a guy 17 years older than me and I know he is attracted to. But I don't know if I should go for it or if I should just forget it and find someone my own age. I like talking and spending time with him, but I am also a little afraid of criticism because of the age difference. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): You know, there are people who make a big deal out of it, and seem to think that a horrible thing that an older man might be attracted to younger women, or that younger women might be attracted to older men, but there's solid biological reasons for that, and if you're happy with him, and he's happy with you, who is to say whether it's right or wrong.
That said, there are practical issues to think of, for example, when he is ready to retire, you'll still be in the prime of your work life - also, he is likely to die before you and virtually guarantee you will be a widow, and sure, alot of women end up widows, but few did so voluntarily, but in this case, it's probably going to be the case, if you ended up together.
But you know, if you end up having 30 or 35 years together, raise a familiy and do it all with fun and verve and flair with a man you love, why not? Life is too short to live with regrets.
I wish you well.
A
female
reader, MsVick +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I am speaking from experience here. It can work, BUT there will be obstacles and at that age a lot of people are going through "Mid life crisis" Yes even men go through it. Also realize he is getting older and there will be some health issues popping up in which you will have to be prepared to cope with. It's just a part of the aging process.
I found as the years went by (I am 17 years older than he is) we grew apart in our relationship. People change a great deal from 20 to 30 and so on.
good luck
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A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (8 December 2010):
The average age difference in my family of husband and wife is 14 years. Men 39, women 25. There is not one divorce in my family tree. 52/52 And most of those relationships were those sappy love matches - even after many years. I hope this helps answer your worries.
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A
female
reader, sue90  +, writes (8 December 2010):
Attraction or love doesn't have anything to do with age. Some of the most lovely couples I know have an age gap of 19 to 26 years. The tricky bit is about finding out whether the guy likes you to or just thinks it's cool to have a young girl being attracted to him (unfortunately men in their 30ies and 40ies can get like that).
And don't be afraid of criticism from others. Here's a joke for you, one of my best male friends is 16 older than me (we've never been together and we'll never be together) and everyone always comments about how lovely we would look as a couple. You might be surprised by how people react.
If you're single and he's single, just go for it. Fingers crossed! =)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): You are an adult. Only YOU and YOU ALONE know what is best for you.
Go for it, as long as it is a mutual thing and no one is getting hurt (ie. he isn't already taken)
Flynn 24
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