A
male
age
26-29,
*ivingWithBadDecisions
writes:I just turned sixteen a month ago and started voluntary work around the same time once a week during term time only. I met this girl who has been a volunteer there for about 6 months or so and shes seventeen and a half. We only really have half an hour at lunch to talkI think I like her quite a lot but she has been through a lot and doesnt trust people very much. She hasn't told me much at all about why she doesnt trust people. She has said something about having a really difficult ten years of people abandoning her and using her then making her feel sh1t. She has ptsd which I think is a form of depression? Shes also said Im a lot like her ex best mate because he was involved in drugs and was not the type to walk away from fights and has had some run ins with the police and doesnt have a good family life which probably started out as dodgy parenting but Ive never tried to change until now and even then Im not sure whats changing for the long time. Plus Ive only been out with skinny makeup-plastered girls with fake eyelashes hair tan etc and all the skimpy stuff and making out with any guy that pays them attention. basically not really long time potential. Shes none of that coz shes a tomboy who wears trackies and jumpers and converses and all that with no makeup except mascarra and she wont kiss me or hold my hand and doesnt let me hug her for very long. I have told her that I like her though but she says we dont know each other very well yet which I guess is true but I think I like her and I want to help her get past everything. I mean maybe thats the only reason why I like her but I dont think it is.Shes going through a hard time now aswell because she is a part time carer for her grandad. From what shes told me so far her grandad is really ill with dementia and cancer and pneumonia and is deteriorating quickly. Sorry if I didnt spell much of that right.I dont really know what to do. I mean how do I show her Im changing or have changed or whatever? How do I know if I dont just like her because shes a challenge or different and isnt easy? I think I care about her and I know shes a kind and caring person (we work with disabled children) and I dont want to hurt her but Im not even sure how serious I am about liking her. What should I do? Is she ever going to trust me?Thanks for any help you can give meCooper
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (19 March 2013):
 HI Just be there for her, the longer you hang out with her, the more she will get to see how you have changed, let it blossom in its own time , don't rush it you have all the time in the world. And when she feels comfortable enough and ready to she will trust you enough to open up about her life , just make sure your always honest with her, and that what ever she tells you stays between you and her.Mandy x
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