A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ahh! I hope someone can help, I'm going crazy!Let's see... I've been with my boyfriend for over two years now, and our relationship is quite good. I lied to him quite a while ago, while our relationship was still pretty new, and I know I need to tell him. The question is... how do I do it?A guy I knew online had been pestering me to hang out, and I said no several times before I finally agreed, and had a friend of mine come with me to be safe. I had him drive my friend home first, because I knew she wouldn't be comfortable alone with him in the car. The night was uneventful, and I assure you no cheating happened whatsoever, but when I got home I felt like the biggest moron ever. It wasn't safe, and wasn't a very wise decision for me to make. When my boyfriend called that night, he was very upset that I'd driven home alone, with a stranger. He began to question me, and I froze up and told him it was my friend who had wanted to meet him, and I was there to make sure she was safe. He still wasn't happy about it, but eventually it was dropped. I came clean to my friend the next day about the lie, and she was upset, and understandably so. I apologized and explained, and over time I all but forgot about it.Recently, my boyfriend brought it up, and again, I froze up. I feel horrible. I'm being such a bad friend for placing the blame on her shoulders, and such a bad girlfriend for not having the guts to tell him the truth. Now, (about a year and a half or so later) I'm not sure how to broach the subject and tell him the truth. It happened so long ago, but I want to come clean because the guilt is almost unbearable. I just don't know how to do it. Of course I'm afraid to lose him, or even worse, his trust, but I don't want to keep lying to him about this one stupid thing.If anyone has any ideas about how I could handle this, it would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): There's no point telling him. I think your being selfish, you can't handle the guilt so are passing the pain over to your boyfriend to handle. Do you really think he's going to believe you didn't do anything? he will have serious doubts, like why keep it a secret got so long? Just keep quiet, you did nothing so got nothing to feel guilty about. We all tell white lies sometimes
A
male
reader, ez4u2say  +, writes (10 November 2008):
No matter how many times you tell him nothing happened he will never believe you. You have lied for over a year. Some things are best left unsaid. However if you can't stand it anymore tell him. If it were me I would not do that because your asking for a big strain on a relationship at this point. They say honesty is the best policy but some people enjoy being happy and taking that away will not make things better.
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