A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy that I met 7 years ago and we were never in a relationship.. but occasionally slept together. We had that "understanding" with one another I guess. Well to make a long story short of course I secretly had more feelings for him than he thought and I would play cool when I was ever around him. Recently I lied to him about something really bad! It was a pregnancy issue. I am in a relationship with someone else and was still seeing the other guy.. and I lied to him and told him the baby was his and he never talked to me again after 7 years and as selfish as it sounds.. I am heart broken. I have text him so many times apologizing and he won't respond. It has been 5 months since I last saw him and I eventually had a miscarriage from all the stress and lies I have caused not only in my relationship but with a guy that I thought cared. I will also add that this guy never wished me happy bithday etc... we were just strictly sex for 7 years. should I feel bad for lying to him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): Honey, I am sorry that this has happened to you. At around your age I too told a man who I loved that a baby was his to see what reaction I got. He too had nothing more to do with me for years and then suddenly and I mean 13 years later he got in touch and wanted to see 'his' child. Nightmare scenario, nicely married to another etc etc. I wouldn't worry about this anymore. put it behind you. Although it is not right this lie is far more popular than you would believe. it is over and done with now so put it behind you. Because you have made yourself stressed and ill over this you need to concentrate on yourself. Look after yourself. Eat well, exercise and don't do anything that makes you feel unhappy or will put you into a stressful situation. If you care about the man you are with work on this relationship and put the other chap behind you. Lying and keeping two relationships going secretly is enormously stressful. You may feel calmer now that one has been removed for you. This will get better as you are hormonal at the moment as well and this will calm down in time. Don't spend anymore time worrying about this put it all far behind you. Nothing is going to be accomplished by going over and over it again and again. Stop worrying and plan for the future.
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (30 March 2009):
love cures love,
i feel sad for the messcarriage but it sounds like a good start for you,
change your life,it sounds that you are beautifull because no guy would spend seven years having sex with a girl that he doesnt love unless she was gorgious,
therefor go to a therapist to cure your wounds and to help you re-evaluate your self
and wait for the new love to come,and be sure it well come on the right time,and it well cures all what left of your recent agony
and untill then never sleep with a guy that you are not sure he wont marry you
and when you mary him be honest to him,
and if he cheated stop him or leave him but never cheat on him
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