A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so it's a very long story; I'm a huge liar, or was a huge liar now I'm just a regular liar I guess. Ever since I was 13 I adopted a persona that I would use for online purposes. Things got weird when I started to actually value this life more than my own, but that's a different story. So with this fake existence I made real friends, who weren't aware of my true identity. I kept that up for 5 years until January of this year. Most of the people I deceived were forgiving one of those people being the "boyfriend" I've been lying to that whole time. He accepted who I really was (whoever that may be) and we continue to date (long distance mind you), but I feel something is different. I feel like I just threw away all the memories I made with him. I know that things can't go back to the way they were when I was a sham, but I just want at least a sliver of the bond we used to have. I guess what I'm really trying to ask is how do I gain his trust again?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (5 June 2012):
You will gain his trust again when you learn to trust yourself. Things were simple when you were 13 but you are much older now so I think you need to grow up and get a grip on yourself. That trust for an online relationship can only be rebuilt after much time but there isn't anything you can specifically do. Trust is extremely important in an online relationship since the other person does not have physical contact with you.
It will take time but the trust can be rebuilt. Try to be honest with him and more importantly, yourself.
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