A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with a man for a year and he left mefor an ex. The ex did not want him, she just did not want him with anyone else. That fact is confirmed. She said I had to be completely gone. So i did something i am not very proud of, so please do not put me down. He left at a low point in my life. I had lost my job due to lay off, my car died, i have two small kids that i had found out one of them has a form of autusm. Just alot happened all at once. Im a smart girl who normally hasher head on her shoulders right, so please do not think i am psycho or not right. I know what i did was wrong. It bothers me a great deal. I am in my thirties and i lied about being pregnant. It was not to hurt him, but rather show her that i was nit going to be gone. I felt so alone during that time and really did not know right from wrong. I didnt want to hurt him, it was not my intention. :(. I came clean to him and he did not talk to me for 6 months. We have been talking and hanging out for the past five months and things have changed. Meaning we have gotten closer. I want our relationship back. But he is not ready. He says it is hard to look past what i did. I dont blame him, i know i was wrong. My life is all back in order now, i wrote everyone apology letters. And i really meant them. I made peace with his sister. How can i get him to finally forgive me? I havent lied, i have faced all the punishments, i have hurt, grieved, gotten mad at myself, and really have gone out of my way to prove im not playing with him and i am serious. How can i fix this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): If a girl ever did that to me, I'd never trust her again and I would not ever have sex with her again under any circumstance.
Everyone is different however, it's possible if you keep behaving appropriately you can build trust back up. It will take a long time though.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (17 August 2013):
Wow!! That is huge! What you did is like a silly teenage girl. I understand you where having a tough time but that is not an excuse for a woman who states she is intelligent.
But in saying the above. You took ownership for your lies and apologized. I think you need to honour his wishes right now. If he is not ready for a relationship with you, then respect that. He is spending time with you so you are on the right track.
Love is patient; Love is kind.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): I think you just need to keep doing what you're doing and hope that he can get over it in time. You already know what you did was wrong, but you have apologised for it so now it's up to him. If you are getting closer as you say, he may just need more time until he makes the final leap. I hope you're not having sex with him though - that puts a whole different spin on things and he could be using you for sex with no intentions of making it official again. If there is no sex involved then I think you need to keep doing what you're doing, let him keep getting closer to you gradually and hopefully he can forgive you properly.
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