A
female
age
30-35,
*yesopen
writes:Well, where do I start? I need some advice. i've been with my boyfriend nearly a year and I love him so much and I know he loves me for he tells me every day, several times a day but lately that flair has disappeared. We're supposed to be moving in with each other, he's doing up an old house and with limited funds its quite stressful but I just don't feel appreciated at all. It's always me who phones him, i ask him if he wants me to stay over at his and all i get is, "if you want" or "whatever you want" "can do" and all i want him to say is yes, stay with me.I don't want to say I'm good looking or anything but a number people have said, how the hell did you manage to pull her and I always get people try it on with me so i thought that would make him see he's lucky but i think because he's so used to me doing all the running he's just got a relaxed brain or something. I dont want to finish with him but i feel i'm being treated like an idiot. He went out last saturday and was meant to pick me up the following evening about ten but instead he didnt even bother to go home he continued drinking throughout the night and all the next day. He turned up at my work absolutely steaming drunk and without saying anything he left and went to another pub and i only heard from him monday evening (tonight)! I mean i left uni for this guy, i made a big sacrifice so i expect him to show me i've done the right thing by giving up so much for him. Or am i being too demanding? Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): you're 18-21 and he's 26. Bottom line? He's not mature enough to treat you how you deserve to be treated and you're not mature enough to get married and have babies with some guy who's such an alco he can't keep a date with you! Don't move in with this guy, tell him you need more attention and if he can't fulfil your needs then well...goodbye! Relationships should make both of you happy. Sounds like neither of you are. Move on, you meet toads before you meet your prince.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 One of my high school teachers was telling us about marriages where there is unhappiness because one person seems to be more mature than the other.
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A
female
reader, eyesopen +, writes (5 May 2009):
eyesopen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. I should have mentioned he asked me to move in with him, he talks about marriage and babies (in the far future obviously) so this tells me he is commited. But he just tends to be far too laid back for my liking. I know i should have stayed at uni but I made the decision to leave, he didnt force me. He's nearly 26 so he is more than mature enough to know what he wants. I just can't understand why he's treating me like this if he says all he wants is me but then thinks its acceptable to go on a bender and not contact me for three days. I'm trying to put a bit of space between us to see if he will be the one to come running for a change. Our relationship is immature and I just want him to grow up. I do also have a job that supports me and I've just completed a classroom assistant course.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): I did not go to Uni instead I got engaged, got married at 21 and 15 years later I regretted it. The relationship was terrible and I wish I had got a degree to give me the confidence and educational foundation in life others have enjoyed. Please do not give up your education for a guy. If he loves you he will support you to get a good qualification and enjoy life. Just from what you have written you are throwing your future away. You have time, right now, to get back on course to take up a Uni place. Don't miss out again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): You gave up uni for a guy you barely knew for a year? Get back to school and dump this guy
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 No, you aren't being too demanding, but you ARE barking up the wrong tree. He's showing you blatantly how he isn't into commitment, and you want to move in with him? What is making you so desperate?
You are obviously good-looking, as you have said, so why are you so hung up on this guy? You may have left Uni for him, but You are young and you can return to school. Why are you insisting on investing on a bad or shaky deal with this one guy, when you can probably do better? You deserve someone who doesn't make you jump through hoops and you know it. You also shouldn't be depending on following after a guy to lead you to your own future happiness. Surely, you had dreams and aspirations, otherwise you wouldn't have been in school in the first place. Think outside the relationship towards your own happiness.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (5 May 2009):
I don't think that you are being demanding at all. I think you need to go back to Uni. Guys and people will come and go. I am in college myself, and I spend the weeks there and only see my husband on weekends. I am not giving up college for him. Maybe your situation is different, but regardless, making a living for yourself, being independent, to me is more important than leaning on someone else, who might turn out to, like in your case, treat you like an idiot.
I'm sorry he is acting so immature. It's awesome that you have a job, but is this job enough to support yourself? I know that you don't want to break up with this guy, but don't you think that you deserve better than what he is treating you like?
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