Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): i agree maybe you should say no sex untill we go get tested
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Everybody should have regular checkups. He is being unreasonable. ALWAYS wear protection with him and don't give him oral until he is checked. Simple.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): That IS the reason! You're not in an open relationship so surely - no need. What exactly IS your problem - mistrust?
...............................
A
female
reader, Hay  +, writes (5 May 2009):
Hay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for the advice. I have tried talking to him several times and even told him how I feel about it but he always says he is not comfortable with the conversation. That I should drop it and always gets upset whenever I bring it up. Says "not this again" and that what's stopping me from going to have the checkup myself.. It bothers me a lot I don't why because we are not in open relationship so I don't see any reason why he doesn't want to.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): So why are you in a relationship whereby you don't trust him? Obviously you don't, otherwise why the regular checks? Of course he will refuse - it's like saying to his face that you don't trust him. In his place, I would be concerned about your fidelity. Talk it over with him, explain if you can about your insistance for checks.
Maybe you need to find a new relationship - one in which there is mutual trust.
...............................
A
female
reader, emmaaaaa  +, writes (5 May 2009):
i've been in the same position as you.
i'm guessing you're in a sexual relationship, so i would suggest that you tell him that you wont have sex with him again until he gets tested. it worked for me. he needs to understand that STIs can be serious and life-changing. if you're worried about it then he should understand and respect that you're just trying to look out for both your health and his.
it may not be that he doesn't care.
he may think that if you're clean then he's clean too, but it doesn't always work like that.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): Good for you. You are taking action is yout sexual health. I am not quite sure why your boyfriend doesn't want to come maybe you should both sit down and tell him how you feel. If you don't feel comfetable talking to him write him a letter.
Maybe your boyfriend is just scared. You have to be there for him just like he has to be there for you.
I am almost 100% poitive that he cares.
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (5 May 2009):
 It makes me wonder if he is cheating on you. Talk to him about this. Tell him your feelings. Ask him why he won't come with you.
"Just doesn't want to do it," is not a good enough answer to come from him. He needs to be up front with you. You are his gf.
...............................
| 