A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Here is my situation. My wife's brother's wife, decided to leave him, they have a daughter. At the same time I was going to leave my wife, we have two daughters. I felt i had to wait because the rest of the family would think that she and I had an affair and planned it this way. I talked to, at the time, my sisiter-in-law about why she wanted to leave, what were the problems, etc. Eventually i did end up leaving my wife, but not for her. There was nobody in the picture, i just wanted out. My best friend, also going through a divorce, tried to talk me out of it, eventually she just told me, that if i would feel happy leaving then thats what i should do. Of course then EVERYONE thought i was having an affair with my best friend. Eventually we drifted apart and i got closer to me sister-in-law. We always got along, we then became best friends, we get along so well, one thing led to another and now are dating and in love with each other. The problem is that the whole family of my exwife and her exhusband (which are brother and sister) think that we had all this "planned out" from the start and that it is wrong to be dating. We don't see anything wrong with it. We are happy. Our girls understand the situation. The only thing is that the three girls get questioned from the ex-in-laws when after we have them for our visitations. The only people who see this being a "problem" is our ex-in-laws. My question is... Is this a problem?
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affair, best friend, divorce, ex-wife, her ex, my ex, sister in law Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): it's not a problem as long as the sex is frequent and good
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): I'm sure its tough but I guess you can't live the rest of your life worrying about what your ex inlaws think. They may always be a part of the kid's lives but not yours.If you two are happy together & are no longer with your exes than you have to live for yourselves. The ex in laws should be mature enough not to fill the kid's heads with any negativity(if they truly love the them),there is nothing they can do about the situation.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Stu  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 If you love each other, then no it's not wrong. The family will have to deal with what you have decided. Good luck . hope it works out.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 February 2007):
 You're very lucky that your collective daughters are so mature and are dealing with this so well. Why do you care if the family are questioning them though? If you don't have anything to hide this isn't really a big deal. This may sound harsh but, excluding your daughters, your ex family doesn't really have anything to do with you anymore. You don't need to worry what they think.
Personally I believe in trying to make marriage work at all costs but since you're obviously past that stage now I guess you need to focus on keeping your girls as happy as possible.
CD
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