A
female
age
30-35,
*aylasMom
writes:the love of my life, 'mike' and i have been together on and off for 3 years. over the times we've broken up i've been with other people, but it was always short lived and we always have stayed in touch. when we broke up the first time he went home to the east coast, im on the west. we've gotten into fights about the people ive been with during our times of not being together, he says its lying because i didnt tell him. i made the mistake of not telling him about the last and he decided on the spur of the moment Saturday he was going to come see me for the first time since he left. i live in a house with 3 room mates and 'jake' my most recent, "while we were broken up boyfriends" lives here too. my boyfriend got here monday and didnt know about jake. he's so angry at me and keeps telling me to figure out what i want. i've told both of them, in front of the other that i want mike. i cant tell jake to leave because it's my other room mates house. i am so stuck. i dont know what to say to make it better. i love him so much and i dont want to lose him.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 October 2013):
 Honestly, you and Mike are not soulmates. There is no such thing, and if there was you wouldnt have been on and off. Youre in an on and off relationship, thats what you are. Not a soulmate relationship, an on and off relationship. Big difference. See your relationship for what it actually is, and your life will be so much less complicated. You arent bound to Mike for life, you arent even married. If you want him, then why did you break up? If hes the only man for you, why were you tempted by other men?
There is jealousy, hurt, lack of trust and pain here. A relationship with this foundation, and even worse: the lack of commitment that is key for an on and off relationship... You are both better off without each other. You will see it too, sooner or later.
A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (4 October 2013):
Sure you know what you want, you have just left a very descriptive expose of yourself. Selfish, Narcissistic and anything else i can say about you. You cant say what you want because you know they would throw your ass out the door. I am glad you know which one you want. But let me tell you something.There is no guarantee that he will want you then what are you going to do with your mates then? You think women are bad when they get scorned. Just wait until your mates get tired of your cat and mouse games. I can assure you they will give a very descriptive expose of your bed room matting rituals. Then just maybe he wont want anything to do with you. Good-luck, you really need to re think what you really need.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (3 October 2013):
 Unfortunately its not fair on both guys if you tag them along just because you are unable to make a decision.
You need space and time to think about what you do want.
Love is always a risk and you dont want to be hurt.
Explain your feeling to your boyfriend yet dont be surprised if he doesnt trust you.
For you and "mike" to make things committed takes relationship work on both your parts.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): Seriously?????? Sounds like you may suffer from co-dependency issue. Gathering from what you have only written is gives the picture that the moment mike is not in the picture you throw yourself and the next available person to offer affection. It seems like mike does love you, but you need to sort your life out first.
IF your serious it sounds like you need to prove it. you cant keep everyone happy its not how it works. Maybe you will have to move out to be with him,
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