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I know we're not ready for the relationship, so what should I be doing??

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have a bit of a dilemma with my ex (we broke up 2 months ago). I want to be with him, but not right now because the timing is all wrong. We broke up mainly because he was depressed and homeless/jobless, but he's back on his feet again and seems happy, and he'll sometimes call me and we'll meet up and have a great time together, flirting and often doing sexual stuff. However, another reason why we broke up is because our relationship only seemed to work effortlessly in the summer when neither of us had any commitments and could just enjoy ourselves for 2 months without any complications. Then I started college, which I hate, and I wasn't happy anymore, and everything was too difficult because neither of us were in a position to look after anybody but ourselves.

Me hating college has continued for the past 3 months, and now I'm the one who's depressed. My ex is the type of person who can't stand being single, but he can't hold down a relationship either, and is going through about 3 girlfriend's a month, and having me inbetween them (and very occasionally at the same time). He's not prepared to treat women with respect right now, and I'm not yet ready to be with someone as it's not fair on him having to support me as I am right now. So basically neither of us are prepared to put effort into a relationship just yet, which is why I'm not making a move. But I want him in the future without a doubt, as I can't get him out of my mind and can't think about any other guy, even though I've had a few offers since I've been single. I long for him though. I'm fighting between being selfish and getting back with him because I want to be supported and to feel loved, or doing what I know I should do and wait for the right moment where we are both in the right place and we could actually have a future.

But what should I be doing now? Keeping my distance? Do exactly what I'm doing now, which is leaving him to always inniciate communication? Maybe Being in this situation is contributing to me feeling depressed? I just don't know

View related questions: broke up, depressed, flirt, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006):

you should just go on with your life. Don't rush. take your time.

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