A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have a problem, one thats not easily solved unfortunately. I have feelings for my boyfriend's best friend and my close friends boyfriend. (there the same boy.)I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months. When we first got together his best friend was really lovely and introduced himself to me and used to talk to me all the time. I was never even a bit attracted to him until about 4 months ago. However, my boyfriends best friend got into a relationship with a girl I've known from school about 4 months after me and my boyfriend got together. Over the last 6/7 months me and this girl have become alot closer due to all four of us going on double dates together and we now speak every few days and meet up. The reason I feel I'm so attracted to this boy nowIs because our personality's and what we want out of a relationship are identical. We have both acknowledged that if we were in a relationship with each other it would be perfectly balanced. At the moment we are both with people that are very stubborn and refuse to admitt when they are wrong or apologise to us. We have had numerous conversations and even are partners have said how me and this boy are both very forgiving, hate arguing and always back down to restore the peace. Basically we both get walked over by own partners because of this.We have talked for hours about random things and both talked about our partners personality's etc. He particularly gets treated very badly by my friend. She has cheated on him twice, punishes him for every tiny thing he does wrong by either refusing to see or speak to him. Making him buy her clothes or by embarrassing him publicly. At first i felt sorry for him as I know how it feels to be the one that always apologises and backs down and gets treated with a lack or respect. My boyfriend is lovely until we argue and then I'm treated as if I'm nothing. Exactly like his best friend.I think he may have an attraction towards me as well, he goes out of his way to help me. He offers to wash my car, lend me money and cheer me up. He always seem to watch me a little more than a friend would and gets flustered around me sometimes. The other day he smiled at me and his whole face lit up, it was like a look we gave each other and held our gaze for more than we should of I can't stop thinking about him/ even dreaming about him. I know this is wrong and we could never be together which saddens me. As I know we would make such a good couple. How can I stop feeling like this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): If you are so hot for the other guy, then why are you not breaking up with the current guy?
1 thing at a time.
You are just in fantasy land, you don't know what it would be like in a relationship.
The real problem, your current relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): loook girl i will tell you something from a mans point of view and im the nicest sweetest guy you will ever meet in the world but your BF's best friend just wants to get in your pants. no guy in this world goes out of the way for a girl or gives her money just to be nice they do it hoping that will better there chances of getting into your pants, and thats even if they are single or not it dont matter because we all think alike.but if you want to be with him and give it a try then take my advice on how to do it because otherwise your BF will go around calling you a slut etc. so here you go break up with him and talk to his friend for a while and wait a while to get with him just wait enough time for your bf to move on and forget about you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): There is no rule book stating that you are not able to date him, and from what I've read, you both are in very unhealthy relationships that probably wont last anyways. You and him need to sit down, like adults, and figure out if losing your friendship and your boyfriend is worth going after this guy. In the end, it seems as if your boyfriend and his girlfriend would be better suited for each other anyways. You only live once, don't spend your life being walked on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): Sorry but you are in lust. You just want somebody else's bf.
So either you break up with your bf and the other guy breaks up with his gf or else stop fantisising about what a good couple you would make.
It is all in your mind!
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