A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We are having this 'casual' relationship for months now. I know this can never be a real relationship and maybe i would be happier if it finishes.It is a long distance thing so we set up our 'dates' where we can. And we do fairly often. I saw him last week and i was a bit confused. He says you know i miss you, right ? and right after but we should not miss each other that much. Well, i know this is not a relationship so i NEVER talk about feelings - which i have, to be honest. We have a blast together and he was all sweet asking me to stay five minutes more with him, even if we were running really late ! It was just more real. Or maybe i just got it all wrong ..Anyway i am going to Rome next weekend and i asked him to come. He wants to but he needs to check so he was supposed to come back to me. I sent him a msg on saturday asking about that - not pressuring him just jokily asking. He didn't reply. I mean, if he does not want / cannot fair enough. He owes me nothing. But i have friends there, i have to make plans so i guess that i deserve an answer.Maybe he thinks i am to involved here or that this is going fast or we are going to get hurt .. I do not know and seriously it is not the problem. It happened to me in the past people just going silent ... Maybe i am overreacting or maybe this is becoming to difficult to handle. The thing is difficult to understand is that i do not even deserve a reply, just as if he can ignore me when he wants. I know we are not a couple but I thought we were friends. Am i overreacting ? What should i do now ?Thanks for your comments !
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Red591  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 i had a "friend" get close to me and then go silent. I basically sent a text that boiled down to "miss ya but won't bug you. good luck, you know where to find me". Sometimes if you don't get closure then u have to make your own. If he cares he will contact you again. If this guy contacts me, I won't hate him but I won't be as eager to answer his messages and looking forward to random dates. If I don't hear from him then at least he knows I'm not gonna keep contact up when it has become one sided. You need to forget him and maybe you will find that it was not so easy for him to forget you. Either way you need to be available to others now. I would Plan on him not coming on the trip.
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