A
male
age
,
*avid006
writes:I am a gay guy who loves a woman very much. She is so much my equal with humour and wonderful style and a lady who is sensitive to all around here. She seems to often have another perspective from which to view the world which seems more loving than my position (general things- socialogical, philosical even political)She assures me that she is fine with my being gay and that I should even find a sex partner from time to time. I had hidden in the closet for so long that this all seems so awckward at times. I know that she is attracted to me as I am to her but she is more so sexually than I am and is becoming sad because I have moved away from sex with her. There have been a number of tramas in our lives lately, more so in mine with a friends death, and attribute my lack of desire to this. I feel that it may be an excuse though. I feel uncomfortable with a vagina. There are times when I am completly put off and can't even consider sex, I have a low drive right now, even for gay sex.We have been talking about getting other sexual partners and remaining emotionally core with one another. She really likes one aspect of sex with me and it is similar to an aspect of male to male sex.We have set a date for marriage and this does not bother me in itself but that intimacy and the reconnection through sex may be waning. Are we just friends with benefits? Does a label matter? We fit so well with each other for everything else. I am anxious about both of us going outside our relationship as it becomes a danger of changing what we have now to something else. I am so torn here with feelings and worrying about practical aspects of life and futures, both hers and miine.Any comments or dialogs are appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Here's some dialogue...you Chose to be gay, but you're not. Through some events in your life, you got attention from a male and it turned into miss-place feelings of love (rather than brotherly love)
Our bodies respond to feelings and touch...and some guy put the moves on you to think it's o.k. Well, it's your life, and this womans' love seems just right for you, and will make you feel complete as a man. You're probably experiencing a love you never knew existed...
As far as your sex life, don't put pressure on yourself. Be honest with her, and tell her you need to take some time to overcome this loss. Focus on intimacy...holding hands, massaging, no sex until the feelings flow after marriage. You maybe should postpone the wedding until you get your feelings sorted out, because having sex with someone other than your wife is not a real marriage.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Your gay, you know it and she does too. While you two are together, your stopping each other from meeting the right person for you, emotionally and sexually. Your properly both scared, both being so relaxed in each other company. But you can still stay best friends, you don't need to put yourself through this pain. She's not going to end it so your going to have to be strong, your old enough to realise you can't please everyone and you need to live your life
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): You are making yourself way too open with the opposite sex. If you want your relationship to work, I suggest that you work on sticking you "P" in the "V".. You honestly need to think if the sex is more important than the relationship.. You obviously don't think much of her, because if you really do love her.. you wouldn't want to share her with anyone else. Maybe you should consider taking some sort of prescription that will enhance your sex drive.Good Luck!
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