A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem that might sound trivial but is causing a real strain on my marriage. Since having our 4 children I have gained about 7/8 kilos that I am finding EXTREMELY difficult to shift. I have tried weight watchers, calorie counting, gyms and even a dietition/personal trainer but it seems that no matter what I do it simply wont shift. My dr says I am only slightly overweight and should be happy to look so good. He said a most women should expect to gain about 1 kilo per baby and that its natural. (of course not all women but he says most). He has basically told me to work on accepting myself and continuing to eat healthy and excercise. That would all be fine except my husband complains that my excess weight causes him to find me less attractive. I have taken him to see my dr who explained that he should be happy to have me but his attitude still continues. I am not prepared to go through the dangers of plastic surgery (last time I had an anastheic I nearly died)...He looks at porn and I know these are the body type he desires, he also looks at other 'slim' women when we are out and sometimes reminds me of my excess weight.I really am feeling stressed , I feel uncomfortable naked with him and am wondering whether its even worth continuing a marriage with a man who finds my weight a turn off??
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male
reader, sledge  +, writes (29 October 2008):
Did your husband say your weight was a turn off?
Try involving your partner to help you lose weight after all his attitude and lifestyle reflect on yours. He might be less into the porn if you were more comfortable with your body and showed it. The women in porn are confident and comfortable, this is how you need to be with your self. It sounds like your body is great. I believe in progressive adaptation. I am always looking to improve and this keeps you stimulated. Try weight lifting and other activities, but always try for faster time more weight farther distance etc. Try not to concentrate on the scale but on how you look in photographs and the mirror. Scales can fluctuate to much and adding muscle from increased activity will increase your weight.
Don't give up the struggle it is really about trying to change your lifestyle. At least if you want to keep it off. Just try to make a positive change each day and if you fail just pick up where you can when you get motivated.
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