A
female
age
36-40,
*rumpologist
writes:I'm a bigger girl and I'm mostly comfortable with my weight, but I know how society views women who aren't a certain size. This makes me very nervous when going about intimacy with my boyfriend. I know that he loves me, thinks I'm gorgeous and the like... but is it unreasonable that I'm thinking in the back of my mind that he might prefer a smaller girl? Or am I being irrational? Knock some sense into me, please? =P Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Not all men will be suckered into the "ideal"- most will go through a phase in their youth where they plaster their walls with images from lad mags, but eventually a few will grow out of it. Just because society is telling your man to prefer stick-thin with large breasts (an unnatural combination anyway) doesn't mean he will fall for it. Maybe you are lucky enough to have found one of the independant-thinkers who has decided for himself what he wants in a woman. Lots and lots of men prefer a natural figure over the artificial ideal. I'm a "bigger" girl as well, I eat healthily most of the time and I exercise all the time. I am in excellent shape, I'm very fit. I'm just not thin. I have hips, my arms are bigger than twigs, I have thighs and my stomach isn't quite perfectly flat. And i couldn't be happier with my body because I know that it has the ability to do whatever it needs to do. I have a long-term boyfriend who worships me, I turn him on with little to no effort- he gets an instant erection just from looking at me naked- and we've been together for four years! So believe me, I know that you might think he's just pretending to like you, but it is very possible that he truly adores your body and thinks you are the hottest thing out there. I didn't believe my hubby at first when he said he thought I was really sexy. But time has proven that... yup, some men want a thicker woman!Have some confidence!
A
female
reader, fallenangelwithabrokenheart  +, writes (9 May 2008):
You are lucky to have a b/F who wants to make love.I am or was engaged to a man who doesnt want to make love to me now as im too fat and dont turn him on.That hurt.So please you are lucky just be happy and remember not many people are completely happy with themselves.Lifes too short.Take love while you have it and enjoy.Hope this helps hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Ideal is a wish list, but what matters is how you treat each other. If done with a caring, loving, trusting, compassionate heart, the rest doesn't matter. Some people are big boned, as it is said, and we will be bigger. My son is big boned and takes after his grandfather, my other sone is thinner and takes after me. You can't change this easily if at all, in this case, you must accept the way it is. Eating right and at specific times and excercise, will keep you close to the appropriate weight for your bone structure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Ok ladies listen up. Here's what all you so called over weight women need to know. Men love women of ALL SIZES !!!!! Here's where the problem lies. 1) self confidence. Don't be so ashamed of your body. Nothing is a bigger let down in the bedroom than hearing the words " turn the lights off first" .2) if a man is with you its becuase he WANTS to be. Don't push him away. 3) the first thing I personally look at when I look at a woman is her overall appearance ie: are her nails nice and neat , are her clothes up to date or apropriate for the enviroment? Please ladies we beg you, get some self confidence. I promise you, without a shadow of a doubt you will not only see a difference in the way men look at you, you'll see a difference in yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Hi Hunny
There are many men around the world who prefere all shapes and sizes, If your b/f loves you and finds you beautiful then you have nothing to fear hun, Dont ever compare yourself to mags love they are all airbrushed to perfection and thats not normal sweetheart..There are two sides to the coin as well hun Im a 6-8 ive been trying to pop weight on for two yrs and finally I put on a stone...As my dear friend has said Look at yourself in the mirror and remember to tell yourself every day how much you like YOU ok. BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVELY! Ive got a figure like a boy I think and sooooooooooo many people say oh my your so skinny, Thats hurtfull as if it was the other way round it would be very rude, No size zero for me sweety BE HAPPY IN YOU SKIN! Your fella loves you for who you are and why wouldnt he hunny CAUSE YOUR BEAUTIFUL TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Right I am on the bigger size and through different things over the years I have gone from being a normal size 14 when I was younger down to the lowest of being a size 10 to now being a size 18, was a size 24 at one stage.
Look beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder, your boyfriend would not be with you if he didn't want to be, he is attracted to you because you are the beautiful person not the casing you come in. He tells you are gorgeous and that is what you must remind yourself every day.
If you are having issues with your weight or are embarrassed about your boyfriend seeing you naked or such like then that is more to do with your self confidence OK.
Wearing some sexy underwear when you are being intimate can really help your confidence levels believe me.
Society thinks that stick thin and size zero are acceptable but ask a lot of men out there what they prefer and believe me they will normally say a girl with some meat on her and someone who won't push a carrot around a plate.
I would recommend healthy eating and normal exercise but apart from that if you are happy with your size then don't try and conform for society's sake but be happy in your own skin.
Look at yourself in the mirror and remember to tell yourself every day how much you like YOU ok.
Have you ever talked to your bf about your size at all?
If you think he looks at other women then that is normal but if you think he is over eager to look then tell him OK.
Wish you all the luck in the world and always here if you want to chat OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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